Redneck jokes

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What is 35 feet long and has 42 teeth?
A bus full of rednecks.

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Redneck pickup line.
"Your рussy tastes almost as good as my вееr"

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You know your a redneck when you fall and the first thing you save is your вееr.

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Redneck was busy in removing a 2 wheels from his car,
Anant asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur car ?
Redneck: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

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Q:What do cops hate the most about hillbilly мurdеr cases?
No dental records and ALLLLL the DNA matches!!

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Redneck Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first inche, she was brand new.

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Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms - ideal for f*ckers who dont know when to pull out

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One redneck to the other: Do you think I should tell my folks I’m adopted?

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What’s the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?
You just have one set of grandparents to get presents from.

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When two rednecks divorce, do they still remain family?

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Redneck:
"My girl broke up with me... at least she said we could still be cousins.

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"Why don’t rednecks get sick so often?
Germs have their pride too.

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You know you might be a redneck woman if:
There’s a spit cup on your bedside table.
You have more than one fur coat – all home made.
When something should be stored cold, you put it in the shade.
You see family reunions as a good chance to meet boys and your mother agrees.
You've ever had to get financing for a tattoo.
You’ve been married three times but your in-laws are still the same people.
Preparing a bubble bath involves beans for dinner.
Your fridge and you weigh roughly the same.
You owe money at the dollar store.
The school encourages you to stay away from PTA meetings at your son’s school.
You can burp your name.

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* A small note: It is NOT OK to use REDNECK JOKES, although they are hilarious, to make actual people feel bad. Putting others down never won anybody any real friends, even when people laugh with you at the time. You will be influenced by everything you give out, so best give out something positive. And hey, while you're at it, enjoy these mean, wrong and ridiculously funny jokes, for, you know, academic purposes!

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Two rednecks are having a вееr together...
One redneck asks the other, "If I slept with your wife and we had a child together, would that make us kin?" The other redneck responds, "I ain't sure, but it would at least make us even."

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What's a redneck's favorite dating website?
Ancestry. Com

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What does a redneck Buddhist believe in?
Reintarnation.

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What do you call it when a redneck comes back from the dead?
Reintarnation

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