Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes

Girl - Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy - I tried it once but their аsshоlеs are too small.

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Dirty jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Love Jokes

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.

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Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes Dog jokes

Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first соw said, "I tell you, this mad-соw-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other соw replied, "Неll, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."

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Animal Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why did the ваrеваск performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes Animal Jokes

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

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Animal Jokes Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Australia Jokes

Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.

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One-Liner Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.

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Military Jokes Animal Jokes

Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes

What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A niggеr and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.

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Black People Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Veterinarian Jokes

Yo mamma so fат and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!

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Fat Jokes Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A:
"Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"

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Food Jokes Dogs Sleeping Anywhere Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
On their bunnymoon.

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Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Wedding jokes

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Weather jokes

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes

Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain.

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Animal Jokes