Blonde Jokes - Page 15

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
"What a great chest you have!"
He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."
He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies,
"I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

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Blonde Jokes

There was a blonde. She had never been horseback riding and decided to try, even though she had no prior expierience. So the blonde gracefully mounted the horse. The horse started off at an easy gallop,the blonde thought she was doing quite well. When all of a sudden she began to slip! She tried to grasp the horses mane but it was too slick! So she decided to jump to safety.... So she jumped, but her foot was caught in the sturrup! She was at the mercy of the horses feet, and right before she was knocked unconcious.... the manager of wal-mart walked out and turned the horse off

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

Who Killed Abraham Lincoln?
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a мurdеr case!"

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf ваlls. Her car was dented beyond description.

The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and вlоw real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.

When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.

Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"

She said that the man at the body shop told her to вlоw into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.

Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!"

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Blonde Jokes

A new paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color:
"Natural Blonde". There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but spreads easily!"

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Blonde Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal?

A: She was so proud she had it bronzed.

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!

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Blonde Jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes

A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."

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Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes

How do you know a blonde has a bad day? she's playing a pencil and she cant find her recorder!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, thewife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment andsaid,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up. The husband said,
"Who was that?" The wife said,
"I don't know, someyoung woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

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Blonde Jokes

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ? A: Sweet Fuск All...
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A labrador.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? : A 69 interrupted by a period.

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didnt want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, Maybe Ill just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, Dамn, this one isnt wearing any shoes either.

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Banker Jokes

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

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Blonde Jokes Monday jokes

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What does a blonde say if you вlоw in his/her ear?
A:
"Thanks for the refill!"

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Blonde Jokes

Why do you run when a blonde throws a pin at you ?????
She's holding the grenade

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by:
"For my blonde friends... an apology".
One of them responded.
"You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."

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Blonde Jokes Facebook Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not
Allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he
Would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker
(who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was
Pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was
"CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
Doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said,
"You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a
Couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "... And
Where do you think you're going?"
(You're gonna love this.....)
She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't
Work in the dark

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'
The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.
Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....
Crap! This one's barefoot, too

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Blonde Jokes Banker Jokes

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building...
He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blond answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new маxi-pads with wings."

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Blonde Jokes

What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes