Blonde Jokes - Page 39

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

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Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes

Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles?
Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried.
When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.
The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?"
The blonde replies:
"I have chickens!"
The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?"
The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Two programmers walked along the street. They saw a beautiful blonde not far away and one of them said,
"Too bad that girls has no standard interface."
"They have," replied the other programmer, "but there is no standard way to get to it."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Programmer Jokes

- She thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday - she sent me a fax with a stamp on it - she thought a quarterback was a refund - she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order - she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center - she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats - under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics" - she tried to drown a fish - she tripped over a cordless phone - she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate" - she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind - she got stabbed in a shoot-out - she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK" - she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death - if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back - they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade - she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept - at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"... she put "Sagittarius" - she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store - it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes - if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless - she studied for a blood test - and failed - she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train - she sold the car for gas money - when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends - when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved - she thinks Taco Веll is where you pay your phone bill - when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead - when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

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Blonde Jokes School Jokes Aviation Jokes

There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decided that one of them had to get off. They argued and argued and finally the brunette said "I'll go." The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

There was a blonde driving in her car on the highway. She crashed into the car infront of her and a cop came over to her and said mam what is wrong? She said officer no matter where i turn there is a tree if i turn left,right, there is a tree. The officer leaned over and said mam that is your air freshener.

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Blonde Jokes

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "ОМG, nobody does!"

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Blonde Jokes

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes One-Liner Jokes

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.".
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"
Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"
Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks her for her license."You cops should get it together," she said. "One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hеll not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down.
The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house.
"That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"

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Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.

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Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes One-Liner Jokes