Blonde Jokes - Page 41

Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

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A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Stupid Jokes

A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"
She says, "Because it's started missing its period."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who died while drinking milk?
A: The соw fell on her.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A Brunette a red head and a blonde were in ...
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.
The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"
The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!" So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.
So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a dамn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a dамn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"

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Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde go to KFC?
Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of вrеаsтs for $1.99

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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Someone dented her car.

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Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Dentist Jokes Stupid Jokes

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”

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Blonde Jokes Birthday Jokes

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says:
"I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.

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Blonde Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

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Blonde Jokes

Why is it OK for blondes to catch cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

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Blonde Jokes

There were two blondes the just came out of the mall. As they walked through the parking lot, they remembered that they had left the keys in the car. Realizing that they were locked out, the blondes got a hanger and tried to open the door. Hard at work, the first blonde stopped to catch her breath. The other blonde got worried as she looked up a the sky and said,
"We've got to hurry up and get in before it starts to rain. I don't want to get the seats wet because the top is down!"

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunette says,
"Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Coffee Jokes

First name: ______________________
Last name(if known):______________
Address (where you live):_________
- ________________________________
Mother's name_____________________
(also relation, i. E., sister)
Birthdate(yours):__________________
Father's name:_____________________
(if known, if not, list choices)
Color of neck:
Light Red ( )
Medium Red( )
Dark Red ( )
No Neck ( )
Year of pickup truck:_____________
List all that you have in your truck:
Fuzzy Dice( ) Gun Rack( ) Сооn Tail( )
Filled ash tray( ) Dead Road Кill( )
Dog of Unknown Breed( )
Have you ever been to a large city?
(Like Little Rock) Yes ( ) No ( )
How far can you throw соw pies?____
Do you eat соw pies? Yes( ) No( )
Wife's name:__________________
Is she: Cousin( ) Neighbor( )
Sister( ) Aunt ( ) Mother( )
Neighbor's dog( )
Does your wife weigh:
Less than 200 Pounds( )
Less than 300 Pounds( )
Less than a 747( )
More than a 747( )
Do you know what a 747 is?
Yes( ) No( )
How much smarter than you
Is your wife:
50 IQ Points( ) 75 IQ Points( )
100 IQ Points( ) She Won't Tell Me( )
Does your wife wear:
A Dress( ) Pants( ) Hot Pants( )
Your Pants( ) Them Lawyer Clothes( )
Nothing( )
Understood previous questions:
Yes( ) No( ) Huh?( )
All of the Above( )
What "previous" mean?( )
Color of wife's hair:
Blonde( ) Red( ) Brown( )
Black( ) Bald( )
Last Elvis sighting:
Location: ________________
On what date?_____________
Can you count past five:
Yes( ) No( ) Past ten: Yes( ) No( )
Explain in ten words or less
Why on Earth you want to be Governor
Of Arkansas:
- ______________________________
Signature ('X' if you can't write)

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Blonde Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sасrifiсе herself to save the lives of the others. The blondes applauded.

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Blonde Jokes

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sеxy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sеx appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens Intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the Trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They Are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to Marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her You were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes

A guy goes to see a doctor and after a series of tests the doctor comes in and says,
"I've got some good news and some bad news."
"What's the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately, you've only got 3 months to live." The patient is shocked, "Oh my god! Well what's the good news then, doctor?" The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big вrеаsтs, tight аss and legs that go all the way up to heaven?" The patient says,
"Yes." The doctor smiles and replies,
"I'm ваnging her!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Secretary Jokes

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"
She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."
He asks "What do you mean?"
So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?"
She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"
Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes