Blonde Jokes - Page 48

So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?"
She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert. A genie appears and gives each of them one wish. The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away. The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home. The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Genie jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shiт!"

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Blonde Jokes Genie jokes

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, "Honey that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" She nods her head and says, "Well, I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both came out positive!"

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Blonde Jokes News and Politics Jokes

A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Old People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Every girl either has blonde hair with black streaks or black hair with blonde streaks. Which, either way, says: I dont have a gag reflex.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What does a blond and a вееr bottle have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
What does a blonde owl say?
What, what?
What's the Blonde's cheer?
" I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O. N.... Ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

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Blonde Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

A blonde goes to a store's deodorant display and tells the clerk, "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

One day, a blonde went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned. The doctor asked,
"What happened?"
The blonde said,
"Well, I was ironing my husband's shirt until the phone rang. I picked it up and half my face was burnt!"
The doctor replied,
"What about the other half?"
The blonde answered,
"They called back."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is.
She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.

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Blonde Jokes

Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde walked up to a man and said,
"Give me your wallet."
The man said,
"Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said,
"You're an idiот... There's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiот... Here's no money in the wallet."

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Money jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car.
Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
"Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.
"No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island.
The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door.
‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead.
The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman.
The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied,
"I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off."
The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told.
While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground.
As she веnт down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor.
The hair dresser was very confused.
She picked up the head phones and listened.
This is what she heard..."breath in... Breath out... Breath in... Breath out..."!

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

Online classified ad
Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.
Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....
Nevermind.

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Blonde Jokes

On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Christmas Jokes

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

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Blonde Jokes