Canadian jokes

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Why didn’t the American make a joke about the Canadian border?
They realized that would cross a line.

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What do you call a special type of deer in Canada that drinks human blood?
The moose-quito.

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I finally decided to open a business in Canada.
My business advisors told me, “Don’t get cod feet!”

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Why was the tourist terrified during their trip to Canada?
There was so much tundra and lightning!

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No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic.
We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.

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I've heard the Canadian Prime-Minister has a French last name.
Is this Trudeau?

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A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar.
The bartender says,
"Ah, Senator Cruz, what are you having?"

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- Mommie, what is a Canadian? - It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie

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Now that's 100% Canadian!

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In Canada, "friends with benefits" means neighbors who have snow blowers.

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Welcome to Edmonton, where if you miss an exit you may as well go on vacation

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Today I learned that РоrnНuв is a Canadian company.
I bet if they blocked it in America, this whole trade war would end prematurely.

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My friend studying in Canada sent me this. Organic Chemistry is his favorite and everyone attends all the classes

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Jaws Canada

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Why do Canadian women use a hockey puck instead of tampons?
Cuz they last for three periods.
(I am truly sorry)

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How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?
Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

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How can you spot a Canadian
They're the ones that say "Thank You" to the ATM

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Canadian guy: Let’s watch a movie.
American: Sure. How about The Titanic?
Canadian: What’s that about?
American: Yes. A big one. It sank.

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My wife says I get mean when I drink whiskey. Now I drink Canadian whiskey.
I am still mean but I am apologetic aboot it. #sorry

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What do you call a Mexican-Canadian рiмр business?
Hoes, eh?

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