Catholic Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.

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Light bulb jokes Men jokes Catholic Jokes Life Jokes

What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

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Dark Humor Jokes Religion jokes Catholic Jokes

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families."I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team."
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

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Sports Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Catholic Jokes

Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Catholic Jokes Superhero Jokes

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Oh Gоddаммiт, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in.
The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!"
The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?"
The bartender says, "Yeah.."
The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?"
The bartender says, "It's across the road."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Priest Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Atheist Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

A man in a balaclava with a gun asked, "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"Neither, I'm a Jew."
"But are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

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Men jokes Religion jokes Jewish Jokes Catholic Jokes

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes Bible Jokes Catholic Jokes

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hеll right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF ВАSТАRD WITH YOU TOO!”

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Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Priest Jokes

What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

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Boycott Jokes Religion jokes Dirty jokes Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes What's The Difference Jokes Priest Jokes

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?
Little boys pants half off.

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Priest Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you маsтurвате”.
I said, “Is God a реdорhilе too, Father?”

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Catholic Jokes Masturbation jokes Priest Jokes

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Religion jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children?
A catholic priest

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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

Why did the catholic priest suск diск at a glory hole?
because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar

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Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

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Religion jokes Catholic Jokes

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A Roamin' Catholic.

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God Jokes Religion jokes Catholic Jokes

Yo momma's so old, her first job was as Cain and Abel's baby-sitter.

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Yo Momma Jokes Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Catholic Jokes

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hеll out of it.

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Religion jokes Sports Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Catholic Jokes Christian Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Greyhound?
A Greyhound waits for the hare to come out.
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What's The Difference Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes