Communication Jokes

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Двама мъже хванали две монахини и почнали да ги изнасилват. Двама изнасилват две монахини. Едната казва: 2 monjas que las estan violando a la vez. Dos violadores que ingresan al convento Santa Clara, y a las dos primeras monjas que las encuentran a su paso las violan, de inmediato. - Una de las monjas mirando al cielo: Perdónalo Señor, no sabe lo que hace. -Replicando la otra monja: Eso será el tuyo porque el mío es un experto. Dos monjitas están siendo violadas, y una de ellas exclama: - Padre, perdónalo, porque no sabe lo que hace! A lo que la otra responde: - No generalizes, que el mío sí que sabe! Två nunnor strosar genom en mörk gränd då två stora män hoppar fram och börjar våldta dem. Den första nunnan tittar upp mot himlen och skriker. - Förlåt dem fader, ty de vet ej vad de gör. Den... Twee nonnen lopen door een donker steegje en worden plotseling gegrepen door twee mannen. Terwijl ze wordt verkracht, kijkt een van de nonnen naar de hemel en roept: "God vergeef hen. Zij weten... Zwei Nonnen werden auf dem Weg ins Kloster von zwei Burschen belästigt. "Herr, ruft die eine, vergib ihnen, denn sie wissen nicht, was sie tun!" "Still, zischt da die andere, meiner weiß es!" Er lopen twee nonnen door een donkere steeg. Plotseling worden ze overvallen door twee wilde mannen en voor ze het weten liggen ze naakt op de grond. Zegt de ene non tegen de andere: “Oh God... Het is avond en twee nonnen lopen samen naar de kerk. Ineens worden ze door 2 mannen een steegje ingetrokken. De mannen beginnen de nonnen te betasten en voordat de nonnen het beseffen worden ze... Dos monjas en el amazonas, las capturan y violan los nativos: - Perdónales Señor, porque no saben lo que hacen, dice una monja. - Será el tuyo, porque el mío es un experto, dice la otra. Estas son 2 monjas que ivan por la calle y le saltan 2 atracadores, al ver que no tenian dinero decidieron violarlas. Una de las monjas se pone a gritar-Hayy dios mioo!! perdonales no saben lo...
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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rестuм, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rестuм and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rестuм should be the boss.
The moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... the аsshоlе is usually in charge.
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Нервирање Γιατί ασπρίζουν τα μαλλιά; Майка към синчето си: Майка към синчето си: Um dia, uma menina estava sentada observando sua mãe lavar os pratos na cozinha. De repente, percebeu que sua mãe tinha vários cabelos brancos que sobressaíam entre a sua cabeleira escura. Olhou... 10-åriga Cilla har inte städat sitt rum och fått en rejäl utskällning av mamma och det hela har slutat med gråt och skrik. Någon timme senare har de två försonats och Cilla sitter uppkrupen i... Toto est dans la cuisine avec sa maman. Il lui arrache les cheveux en lui demandant : - "Pourquoi tu as des cheveux blanc ?" Sa maman lui répond alors: - "À chaque fois que tu fais une bétise je... Una nena está observando la cabeza a su mamá y le dice: Mira, mamá, tienes un cabello blanco, y otro, y otro. La mamá le responde: Esas son canas. Oye, mamá, ¿Y por qué te salen canas?, pregunta la... Le petit Toto demande à sa mère: - Pourquoi tu as des cheveux blancs maman ? Sa mère lui répond: - J’ai des cheveux blancs parce que tu fais trop de bêtises et tu m’énerve ! Toto répond: - Tu... Çocuk annesine sormuş. - "Anne senin saçların neden beyaz?" Anne cevap vermiş. - "Sen beni üzdüğün zaman benim saçımın bir teli beyazlıyor." Çocuk anlamış bir şekilde; - "Anneannemin bütün saç... När lilla Jenny satt och tittade på medan hennes mamma lagade mat upptäckte hon att hennes mamma hade flera vita hårstrån i sitt annars bruna hår. Hon frågade då nyfiket. - Mamma? Varför är en del... O fetita o intreaba pe mama ei: - Mama, de ce unele fire din parul tau sunt albe? Mama raspunde: - Vezi tu, de fiecare data cand faci vreo boacana sau ma faci sa plang, sau ma superi, unul din... - Maman maman, pourquoi certains de tes cheveux sont blancs? demanda un petit garçon, - Eh bien... Héhé... Dès que tu fais une bêtise maman à un cheveux blanc qui pousse alors si tu arrêtes mes... Jantje : "Mama, waarom heb je van die grijze haren?" Mama: "Dat komt omdat kindjes heel ontdeugend zijn." Jantje: " O, vandaar dat oma helemaal grijs is !" Toto demande à sa mère. - Maman sa fais quoi d'avoir un cheveu blanc ? - Et bien tu vois mon chérie a chaque fois que tu fais une bêtise j'en ai un de plus. - Et que ce que ta fais a mamie pour... Jantje vraagt waarom heb je grijs haar mam. Omdat mijn kinderen stout zijn begint mama. Waarom heeft oma dan grijshaar zegt Jantje. La madre le dice a Pepito: - A ver si te portas bien, porque cada vez que haces algo malo me sale una cana. - Ahhh, entonces tú debiste haber sido tremenda, porque fíjate cómo dejaste a la... La madre de Jaimito le esta echando una bronca: - Jaimito, a ver si te portas bien, porque cada vez que haces una travesura se me cae el pelo y me sale una cana. - Pues tu de pequeña tenias que ser... Lille Per stod og kiggede på sin mor som vaskede op. Efter at have stirret meget intenst på moderens hår i nogle minutter, spurgte han forundret: - "Mor! Hvorfor er nogle enkelte af dine hår grå og... Bart vraagt aan z'n moeder: 'Waarom krijgen heel veel mensen grijze haren?' Moeder: 'Als kinderen heel erg zeuren en vervelend zijn, dan krijg je daar grijze haren van.' Bart: 'O, nu snap ik waarom...
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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men.
The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"
The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"
The general says, "See that man over there? Кill him!"
Without hesitating, the private kills the man.
The general says, "See? That man has ваlls!"
The marine general says, "That's nothing. Private, get over here!"
The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?".
The marine general says, "See that man over there? Кill him and then кill yourself."
Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.
The marine general says, "See? Now that man has ваlls!"
The admiral says, "That's nothing."
He calls to a sеамаn high up on a tower, "Hey, sеамаn, jump off that tower!"
The sеамаn answers, "Excuse me, sir?"
The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!"
The sеамаn replies, "Fuск you, sir!"
The admiral says, "See? That man has ваlls and he's got brains too!"
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The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things.
We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb.
So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break.
But he paid us no attention and kept writing.
Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, "What a Bozo."
The cop looked up, stared at my wife, then started writing out another ticket.
I said, "Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he's so proud of himself, he's showing off."
The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third.
We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen.
Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street.
We didn't care about the tickets.
We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers.
Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused.
We feel it's important.
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Кои са трите думи, които една жена не иска да чуе докато прави секс? Las peores dos palabras Vad hatar män att få höra när de har sex? - älskling, jag är hemma nu Welche Worte hassen Frauen, wenn sie gerade tollen Sex haben? – „Liebling, ich bin zuhause.“ Hvilke ord hader en kvinde at høre, når hun dyrker vild og dejlig sex? – Hej skat. Så er jeg hjemme - Mi az a két szó, amit nem akarsz hallani szeretkezés közben? - ??? - Drágám, hazajöttem! - Hvad er det for fem ord , du ikke ønsker at høre mens du elsker? - Hej skat, jeg er hjemme...
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