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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff.
The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.

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Lawyer Jokes Car and driving jokes News and Politics Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Doctor:
"Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers."
Old man:
"Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

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Dark Humor Jokes News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

Awwww, kids. They вlоw up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

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Pet Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes American Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one ruввish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 ruввish bins.

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Dark Humor Jokes Kids Jokes Morbid jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.

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Cannibal Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Do you remember how everyone was trying to кill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.

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Dark Humor Jokes Political Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Lester Barrie: Solution to the Gang Problem.
It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having. I just got to get some people behind me, right? I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.

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Police Officer Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Grandparent Jokes

Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today!
"Shut up and keep digging, boy."

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.

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Dark Humor Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

What rule could stop НIV in Africa?
Sex after dinner only.

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Africa Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sex Jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.

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Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes

What goes:
"Click-is that it?
Click-is that it?
Click-is that it?"
A blind person with a rubix cube.

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Dark Humor Jokes

What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.

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Dark Humor Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a реdорhilе walk into a bar, and that's just one person!

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Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Priest Jokes

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.
His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing."
Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.
Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing!"
Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.
Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him.
He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiот put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

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Dark Humor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Science jokes Friendship Jokes Soccer Jokes