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Dark Humor Jokes

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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Terrorist jokes Dark Humor Jokes Aviation Jokes Soccer Jokes American Jokes
Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: *Opens mouth*
Me: "OH NO!!! It's the Taliban!" *Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon.* "KA-BOOM"
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Aviation Jokes Baby Jokes
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
The Hanger.
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Aviation Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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Dark Humor Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Ugly Jokes
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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Dark Humor Jokes Jokes about Women Sports Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit.
They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
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Александър Божков умира,и разбира се попада в ада. Дяволското ръководство решава,на слаб огън,да го въртят на първо време за 100-ина години,пък после ще видим... A kannibál család cigányt akar sütni nyárson. A két kannibál szülő elmegy és rábízzák a cigányt a kicsire, hogy forgassa a tűzőn szép lassan. Mikor jönnek haza látják, hogy a kicsi nagyon gyorsan... Két kannibál elfog egy cigányt. Nyársra húzzák, és az egyik szép lassan elkezdi forgatni a tűz fölött... Megszólal a másiknak: - Gyere már ide, forgasd egy kicsit, míg hozok még tűzifát. De szép... A kannibálok elkapják a cigányt es meg akarják enni. Felrakják a nyársra, és a szakács forgatni kezdi a tűz fölött. A király észreveszi hogy a szakács egyszer csak eszeveszetten elkezdi pörgetni. -... A Gazsit elfogják a kannibálok. Nyárson sütik, de túl gyorsan forgatják. A főnök kérdőre vonja őket: - Miért forgatjátok olyan gyorsan, nem fog jól átsülni? - Főnök, amikor lassabban forgattuk,...
Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Jewish Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Dark Humor Jokes Religion jokes Catholic Jokes
Michael:
"What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew:
"I don't know. What?"
Michael:
"Candy corneas."
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Halloween Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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What's The Difference Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Най-смешния виц в Шотландия според едногодишно изследване на учени от университета в Хардфордшир: Исповед Was ist ein schöner Tot? - Искам да умра мирно и кротко в съня си - като дядо, Ich möchte so sterben wie mein opa - einfach einschlafen!!!!!!!!! (runterscrollen) Nicht weinend und schreiend!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wie sein Beifahrer. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his bus. Il maestro chiede alla classe: "Secondo voi qual è una morte tranquilla?" Wenn ich sterbe, will ich friedlich gehen. So wie mein Großvater im Schlaf ... und nicht laut kreischend wie die Mitfahrer in seinem Wagen. Ik wil graag dood gaan wanneer ik slaap, net als mijn opa. Niet schreeuwend en in paniek zoals de passagiers die hij vervoerde. “Når jeg dør, vil jeg gerne dø som min bedstefar, der døde fredeligt i hans søvn. Ikke skrige som alle passagererne i hans bil. ” Chcę umrzeć spokojnie, we śnie - tak jak mój dziadek, a nie wrzeszcząc z przerażenia tak, jak jego pasażerowie. Moi je voudrais mourir comme mon grand-père, il est mort pendant son sommeil, il n'a rien senti. Ca c'est une belle mort ! Je ne voudrais pas surtout pas mourir en paniquant, en gesticulant et en... Eu quero morrer em paz, durante o sono, como o meu avô, e não gritando aterrorizado, como os seus passageiros... Haluaisin kuolla kuten lentokapteenina toiminut isäni, rauhallisesti nukkuessani. En paniikissa kirkuen, kuten hänen matkustajansa. Mannen på begravningen: - Jag skulle vilja dö som min far: stillsamt och i sömnen. Inte skrikande i panik som hans passagerare... Charlando sobre la muerte: - A mí lo que me gustaría es morir durmiendo apaciblemente, como mi abuelo... y no gritando de terror como sus pasajeros. To mand sidder på en bænk og er lidt småfilosofiske. Der tales om livet og døden. - Jeg vil sove stille ind, ligesom min Farfar, og ikke som min Farmor. Skrigende i flammerne, i passagersædet ved... Un professeur demande à ses élèves un exemple d'une belle mort. Une petite fille lève la main et dit: - Mon papi ! Il est mort en dormant... - Effectivement c'est une belle mort, pourrais-tu me... Jeg vil dø mens jeg sover, ligesom min bedstefar... - Ikke grædende og skrigende ligesom passagerne i den anden bil.
Dark Humor Jokes Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Grandparent Jokes
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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Dark Humor Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Geek jokes Star Wars Jokes
Daughter:
"That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother:
"But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!"
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes
How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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Dark Humor Jokes
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her сrаск.
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Dark Humor Jokes
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