Dark Humor - Page 15

Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.

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Нiтlеr got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.

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Money jokes Dark Humor Jokes Hitler Jokes

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A реdорhilе.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hеll is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shiт real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your аss out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his аss out the window and the shiт flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Dамn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his аss".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a вiтсh!"

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Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes Vulgar jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Waiter Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption.
One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal.
The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan.
Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself.
She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son.
The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your mother in law?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes

A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?"
Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!"
Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"

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Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

One of Нiтlеr's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores."
Hitler replies, "Well, mine less."
A grammar nаzi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!"
Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"

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Dark Humor Jokes Hitler Jokes

Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one ruввish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 ruввish bins.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Halloween Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunк, and crashed the car.

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Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got воwеl cancer."

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide.
‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian.
The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section.
It’s empty.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian.
‘They don’t often bring them back.'

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Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

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Dark Humor Jokes Police Officer Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing:
"Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…"
"What did you see?"
"I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…"
"Wow horror!"
"Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"

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Dark Humor Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Friendship Jokes

"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Wedding jokes Divorce Jokes Church jokes Sick and Death Jokes

First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Cannibal Jokes Dentist Jokes