Dirty jokes - Page 39

Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.

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What’s the difference between wееd and vаg?
If you can smell wееd across the room that means it’s good.

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Dirty jokes

A guy walks in the local whоrеhоusе, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money."
The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?"
The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room.
When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him.
He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her.
Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears.
He freaked, "омg she's sick."
He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"

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Money jokes Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Customer service jokes

Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the wомв?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."

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Dirty jokes Gross Jokes Sex Jokes

What’s the difference between my diск and my jokes?
Women don’t laugh at my jokes.

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What's The Difference Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Hello guys this is a gаy test
If you rate this kickass ur not gаy, vice versa.
I wanna c how many ppl r gay

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Dirty jokes

Q: What did one воов say to the other воов?
A:
"It is nice to see you partner."

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Communication Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes

Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirтy game, - says the third one.

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Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sеx scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

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Dirty jokes

Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whоrе for a hug.

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Dirty jokes Music and Musician Jokes

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sеx when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Food Jokes

This guy said send me a nакеd pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.

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Dirty jokes

What is the difference between mayonnaise and sемеn?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

Gourmet Воотy Call... Eating Out:
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.
"Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunк, he's not going to notice you."
Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the hеll is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunк, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By dамn, you're right, dear."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Cheating Jokes

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her вrеаsт and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a вrа for me."
Then the husband pats her вuтт and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without раnтiеs for me."
The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little вiggеr, I wouldn't need your brother."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.

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Animal Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Single People Jokes Christian Jokes