Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

21 0

Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.

21 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

"Doctor! There's fly in the ointment!"
"Yes, I know, he's recovering from a nasty soup-burn."

21 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”
One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Nurse jokes

A programmer went to the doctor complaining about wrist pain. The doctor poked and prodded for a while and then issued of a prognosis:
"You have carpal tunnel syndrome, but it's in the early stages. You should be able to continue work, but you should give up half of your programming."
"Which half? Writing memos about it or attending meetings about it?"

20 0

Programmer Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

20 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Yeast + Billy Ray Cyrus = ?
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy тwат!

20 0

Gross Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fаrт, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"
"No," the guy says. "My farts do."
So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.
After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?"
The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."
The guy says, "What the hеll does that have to do with my condition?"
The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"

20 0

Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Fart Jokes Dentist Jokes

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Doctor Doctor who?
That's a great TV show, isn't it?

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Knock-knock jokes

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar
Don't worry you'll soon change!
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.
That's quite enough out of you!
Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish
Poor sole!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider
What a web of lies!
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar!
Have you taken anything for it?
Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy!

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear.
He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?"
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”

20 0

Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Doctor to woman patient:
"Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient:
"But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."

20 0

Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training.
He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities.
On the first day, he was issued a comb.
On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair.
On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste.
On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth.
On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter.
On the sixth day he went AWOL.

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Military Jokes

Doctor:
"You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary."
Patient:
"Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Woman patient:
"Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor:
"You did the right thing to call me."

20 0

Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?

20 0

Sports Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Golf jokes

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked,
"Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

20 0

Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Patient:
"Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?"
Doctor:
"You see, I am not a M. B. B. S. I am only a B. Sc."

20 0

Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

20 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes