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Fitness jokes

Newest jokes in this category
No time for gym?
Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
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Fitness jokes
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Office and Work Jokes Fitness jokes
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
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Fitness jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!
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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes
Q: How do you get a baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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Gross Jokes Fitness jokes Baby Jokes
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25."
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Blonde Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Math Jokes Fitness jokes
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Fitness jokes
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
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Fitness jokes Sports Jokes Phone jokes
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
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Fitness jokes School Jokes Men jokes
What’s the hardest part about being a раеdорhilе?
Trying to fit in.
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Gross Jokes Fitness jokes
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn’t fit in the рот.
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Fitness jokes
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
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Science jokes Jokes about Women Computer Jokes Fitness jokes Student jokes Stupid Jokes School Jokes
Четири на еден Vier Blondinen auf einem Stuhl vier Blondinen Πως κάθονται 4 ξανθιές σε μια καρέκλα; 4 ξανθιές και μια καρέκλα Savez-vous comment faire tenir quatre homosexuels sur un seul tabouret ? Il suffit de le retourner. Как може да сложите четирима педераста на един стол? Като го обърнете с краката нагоре Comment met-on 4 blondes sur un tabouret ? On le retourne. Hur får man fyra bögar att sätta sig på en pall? Man vänder den upp och ner! How do you get 4 gays on a barstool? Turn it upside down. P: Você sabe como fazer pra colocar 4 gauchos sentados numa cadeira? R: É só colocar a cadeira de ponta cabeça e cada um senta em uma ponta. Miten neljä blondia saadaan mahtumaan jakkaralle? - Käännetään jakkara ylösalaisin Bar hygge Hvordan får man 4 bøsser til at sidde på én barstol? – Man vender den om Q: Cum asezi patru blonde pe un scaun ? A: Il intorci. ¿ Cómo sientas a cuatro ****s en un banquito? Lo pones al reves Kaip patalpinti keturias blondines ant vienos taburetes?..... Apversti taburetę aukštyn kojomis.
how do you fit 4 gаy guys on a stool
you flip it over
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Fitness jokes
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”
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Fitness jokes
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