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Gross Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A family walks into a talent agency.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog.
The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act.
You should represent us."
The agent says,
"Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says,
"Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says,
"OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes
What is grosser than gross?
When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
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Gross Jokes
Broccoli is like аnаl sеx.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
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Gross Jokes Sex Jokes Anal Sex Jokes
This is a visual joke.
Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have?
A palestinian waiting for the bus.
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Gross Jokes
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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Gross Jokes
I love cats – they taste just like chicken.
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Gross Jokes
What’s the hardest part about being a раеdорhilе?
Trying to fit in.
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Gross Jokes Fitness jokes
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes Dog jokes
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday?
A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Old People Jokes Birthday Jokes
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga.
LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vаginа".
When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vаginа". "You can't name your baby that!"
"Don't disrespect me! I be her mama.
I can names her anything I want."
When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Baby Jokes
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
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Gross Jokes
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a вuм who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another вuм who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a вuм asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The вuм replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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Gross Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Why were the people in the twin towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.
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Gross Jokes Aviation Jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Boycott Jokes Rude Jokes Cannibal Jokes
A little boy caught his mom and dad having sеx. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" The mom said, "We were baking a cake." A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?" She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."
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Gross Jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes
Quand t'es Bretonne et que l'odeur de la marée te manque..
When you're from Brittany and you miss the smell of the sea...
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Gross Jokes
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench, and a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a sтrоке, the second lady had a sтrоке, and the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
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Gross Jokes American Presidents Humor
Q: What is the definition of agony?
A: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy ваlls.
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Gross Jokes
Отива един при лекаря. Blähungen Една старица отива на лекар. Той я пита какъв е проблема и. Старата жена казва: Баба отива на лекар. This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. “Dottore, ho un problema, faccio flatulenze di continuo, però non puzzano mai”,“Provi a farne una per farmi sentire”,Il paziente emette la sua flatulenza e il dottore esclama:,“Il suo problema è grave, bisogna operare con urgenza!”,“Dottore, al sedere?”,“No, al naso!” Un'anziana signora si reca del medico per cercare di risolvere un problema. "Dottore ho un problema di gas intestinali. La cosa non mi dà poi così fastidio, perché le flatulenze che faccio sono silenziose e assolutamente non maleodoranti. Però ecco un po' mi infastidisce; ad esempio, da quando... Kommt eine ältere Dame zum Arzt und sagt: "Sie, ich muss immer viele kleine Fürze lassen, aber das mach nichts, die stinken nicht und hören tut man sie auch nicht! Sehen Sie, seit ich hier bei Ihnen bin, habe ich bestimmt schon 10 mal gefurzt!" Da holt der Arzt eine Schachtel Tabletten hervor... Una vieja va al médico para atenderse: - Doctor, doctor, le cuento que sufro de muchos gases; pero por lo menos no huelen ni se escuchan. Vea, me acabo de tirar como quince y usted ni cuenta se dió. El doctor le recetó una medicina y le dijo que vuelva en una semana. La semana siguiente, la... En gammal man går till doktorn med en pinsam åkomma. – Jag släpper väder hela tiden. Det luktar inte och det låter ingenting, men det är väldigt obekvämt. Jag har faktiskt gjort det 20 gånger redan sedan jag kom in hit, berättar mannen. Läkaren tänker en stund och ger honom sedan ett recept. – Ta... Een klein oud vrouwtje gaat naar de dokter en zegt: "Dokter, ik heb een probleem met "scheetjes laten", het stoort mij eigenlijk niet, want mijn winden zijn altijd stil en ze ruiken niet. Eigenlijk... A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.... An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least... Um senhora bem velhinha vai ao médico e diz: — Doutor, eu tenho este problema com gases, mas realmente isso não me aborrece muito. Eles não cheiram e sempre são silenciosos. Vou lhe dar um exemplo.... Um velhinho foi ao médico e chegando lá, o médico pergunta: — Então, qual é o seu problema? — Bom, eu tem realmente um problema, mas não me incomoda muito. Vivo peidando aonde eu for. Vou dar um...
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.
Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hеll you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
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Gross Jokes
Q: What do a bungee jump and a hоокеr have in common?
A: They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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Gross Jokes
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