Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she went to a Clippers game to get a haircut.

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A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days, isn't He?"

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Kids Jokes God Jokes Old People Jokes

One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count.
The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
The mother responds, "Very good honey."
The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?"
And the mother responds, "Yes dear."
Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs!
The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!"
The mother says, "Very good honey."
The blonde then asked.
"Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
The mother responds, "Yes dear."
The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming!
But I was the only one who had вrеаsтs.
Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Old People Jokes Math Jokes

By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead.
And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.

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Kids Jokes Make My Day Laughs Father's Day Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Nurse jokes Beauty Jokes Couple jokes

Most kids рее their name into snow... Chuck Norris рissеs his in concreate...

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swinе!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly,
"I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Vulgar jokes Ugly Jokes

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes

A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday.
She opened it up and it was a tea рот.
She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you."
The boy said "That's good."
Mum said "However I already have a tea рот."
The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."

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Kids Jokes Birthday Jokes

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fuскing potatoes!"

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Kids Jokes Priest Jokes Dad Jokes

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Priest Jokes Priest Jokes

Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Baby Jokes

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sеx before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Dad Jokes Birthday Jokes

When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Aviation Jokes Terrorist jokes

When I was younger I used to think having sеx was kissing nакеd. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sеx with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dog jokes

Peter: My mom is having a new baby.
Joy: What's wrong with the old one?

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Kids Jokes Baby Jokes

Q: How are rаре and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her - but he can't.
Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help.
So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, ''Don't worry. I got him with the door!''

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Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Church jokes Love Jokes

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your sтuрid cat."

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister
Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes