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Lawyer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
Barack Obama!

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Obama jokes Lawyer Jokes American Presidents Humor

What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free! Pro Воnе-O.

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Skeleton jokes Lawyer Jokes

Why are there no Irish lawyers?
They can't pass the bar.

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Irish jokes Lawyer Jokes

I will not eat anything that оnce had a soul . Not a problem he was a Lawyer .

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Lawyer Jokes Animal Jokes

Why are lawyers so hot? Because they wear black coat, and black is a good conductor of heat. Thank you

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Jokes by Xavier Lawyer Jokes

Just because you did it, doesn't mean you're guilty

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Lawyer Jokes

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
About three inches.

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Dirty jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
Q: And his son?
A: Bill.

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Judge and Court Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sеxuаl relations with you?"
"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed."And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a сliмаx?" the lawyer continued.
"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."

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Walking past the Royal Courts of Justice one day, a man spotted a friend of his sitting on the steps outside, sobbing loudly with his head buried in his hands.
"What's the matter?" he asked of his friend, "did your lawyer give you bad advice ..?"
"No - it's worse than that," replied the friend between sobs, " he sold it to me..."

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Lawyer Jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.

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Lawyer Jokes Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

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Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?
Hell was full.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.

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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

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Judge and Court Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

What do you call an honest lawyer?
An oxymoron.

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Definition of a Lawyer:
A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes