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Lawyer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free! Pro Воnе-O.
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Skeleton jokes Lawyer Jokes
Why are there no Irish lawyers?
They can't pass the bar.
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Irish jokes Lawyer Jokes
I will not eat anything that оnce had a soul  . Not a problem he was a Lawyer .
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Lawyer Jokes Animal Jokes
Why are lawyers so hot? Because they wear black coat, and black is a good conductor of heat. Thank you
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Jokes by Xavier Lawyer Jokes
Just because you did it, doesn't mean you're guilty
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Lawyer Jokes
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
Barack Obama!
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Lawyer Jokes Obama jokes American Presidents Humor
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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Lawyer Jokes Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.
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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes
At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes School Jokes
Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?
Hell was full.
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.
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Office and Work Jokes Religion jokes Insult Jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Political Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
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Judge and Court Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Адвокат лежи на смъртно легло в болницата. Прочешлување O advogado, no leito de morte, pede uma Bíblia e começa a lê-la avidamente. Todos se surpreendem com a conversão daquele homem ateu, e uma pessoa pergunta o motivo. O advogado doente responde: —... Den gamle advokat var alvorligt syg, og sad og læste i Bibelen, da vennen kom på besøg. "Men hvad laver du dog?", spurgte han overrasket. "Leder efter smuthuller!", svarede advokaten tørt. Den gamle advokat var meget syg, og da en ven besøgte ham på hospitalet, lå han og læste i Bibelen. - Hvad laver du ? spurgte vennen. - Leder efter smuthuller, svarede advokaten. Egy ügyvéd haldoklik a kórházban, és amikor egy barátja meglátogatja, éppen a Bibliát lapozgatja kétségbeesetten. - Hát te meg mi a francot csinálsz? - kérdezi a barát. Mire az ügyvéd: - Joghézagok... Visiting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in bed, anxiously leafing through the Bible. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Looking for loopholes,” was the... Egy ügyvéd a kórházban, halálos betegen, tempósan lapozza a Bibliát... - Maga meg mit csinál? - kérdezi tőle a nővér. - Joghézagot keresek...
Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
What do you call an honest lawyer?
An oxymoron.
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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Definition of a Lawyer:
A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
What's the difference between F.Lee Bailey and a generalized joke about Lawyers?
One is boorish rude and insensitive, the other is just a joke!!
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes Military Jokes
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client. "First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress." "Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is down to 140!" Adwokat przyszedł na widzenie ze swoim klientem: - Mam dla Pana dwie informacje - dobrą i złą. - To zacznij Pan od złej. - Badania krwi wykazały, że był Pan na miejscu morderstwa. - A ta dobra... Adwokat do klienta: - Mam dla Pana dobrą i złą wiadomość. Analiza DNA wykazała, że na miejscu zbrodni znaleziono Pańską krew. - To źl A ta dobra wiadomość? - Cholesterol i cukier w normie. "Minulla on hyviä uutisia ja huonoja uutisia," puolustusasianajaja kertoi asiakkaalleen. "Ensin huonot uutiset. Veritestin tulokset saapuivat ja teidän DNA sopii täydellisesti sen kanssa mitä... Адвокатот што го застапува Трпе му вели: - За тебе имам и добра и лоша вест. - Ајде прво лошата. - Крвта што ти ја земаа за анализа, одговара со крвта најдена на местото на злосторството. - Е што е... Státní zástupce u soudu hovoří k obžalovanému: „Máme pro vás, pane obžalovaný, dvě zprávy. Jednu špatnou a jednu dobrou. Kterou chcete slyšet první?” „Tak nejprve raději tu špatnou.” „Dobře. Tak ta... - Van egy rossz, meg egy jó hírem. mondja a védőügyvéd kliensének. - A vérvizsgálat kimutatta, hogy maga követte el a bűncselekményt. - Ajjaj! És mi a jó hír, ügyvéd úr? - Hogy alacsony a...
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the мurdеr scene."
"Dаммiт!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Въпрос: 800 Anwälte auf dem Meeresgrund Όλοι στον πάτο! Cosa fanno 20 terroni che cercano di affogarsi?...un buon inizio! O QUE QUER DIZER 1000 ADVOGADOS NO MEIO DO MAR ? r: UM BOM COMEÇO . Cosa fanno cinquanta avvocati incatenati in fondo all'oceano? - Un buon inizio.... Mitä sata asianajajaa tekee keskellä tyyntä valtamertä? - Ei kai sitä kukaan tiedä, mutta ainakin se on hyvä alku. - Hvad kalder man 1000 advokater på havets bund ? - Hvad kalder man 1000 advokater på havets bund ? - En god begyndelse.
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Blonde Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
A: Won't happen - there are some things even a pig won't do.
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
What do you call parachuting lawyers?
Skeet.
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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes
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