Light bulb jokes

Newest jokes in this category

How many Microsoft technicians does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, they would just declare darkness the new standard TM

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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Q: How many hipsters does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

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How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

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How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.

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What did the light bulb say to the switch? "You turn me on."

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How many men does it take to sсrеw a light bulb?
A. One - men will sсrеw anything.
B. One - men will sсrеw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the sсrеwing, four to listen to him brag about it.

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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!

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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

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Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!

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Light bulb jokes

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark

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Yo' Mama is so fат, when I sсrеwеd her, I burnt my аss on the light bulb.

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How many IBM employees does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

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How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
That light bulb's never getting changed.

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How many cops does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

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