Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

Two fathers chat outside school in the morning:
"Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?"
"Yes, man, I did. Why?"
"Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?"

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A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.
They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful nакеd woman on a bed.
The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.
The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off.
The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?".
To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"

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Science jokes Jokes about Women Math Jokes

Q: What is 6.9?
A: A really great thing ruined by a period.

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes Math Jokes

The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?"
Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."

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School Jokes Math Jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.

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Accountant Jokes Math Jokes

An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."

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Science jokes Math Jokes

The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Math Jokes

A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb.
They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.
On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?"
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?"
The blonde responded, "20, right?"
Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde.
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"

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Blonde Jokes Math Jokes

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.

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Science jokes Math Jokes

Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2?
Student: Why?
Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.

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Science jokes Math Jokes School Jokes

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a вееr, the second orders half a вееr, the third orders a quarter of a вееr, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

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A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".

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Programmer Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes Baby Jokes

Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.

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Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a вiтсh is four; four plus four, the son of a вiтсh is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a вiтсh!"
Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens" - said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Vulgar jokes Math Jokes

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions.
Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research.
After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."
The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions.
At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"

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Lawyer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes Boss Jokes

Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.

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Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes

Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.

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Chuck Norris Jokes School Jokes Math Jokes

Once you go asian you never miss an equation

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Math Jokes

Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Math Jokes

Teacher: "Are you good at math?"
Pupil: "Yes and no."
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"

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School Jokes Math Jokes