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Morbid jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.
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Dead baby jokes Gross Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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Food Jokes Dead baby jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.
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Black People Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Morbid jokes
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Morbid jokes
Mary held her little daughter,
Twenty minutes under water.
Not to care for any troubles,
Just to look at those funny bubbles.
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Funny Poems Baby Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa comes down the chimney.
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Dark Humor Jokes Christmas Jokes Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes
Една лекарка не може да заспи. Разговор между двама доктора: Лиценца Der Arzt der träumte Επαγγελματική δεοντολογία!!! женщина-врач не может заснуть - в ней спорят совесть и разум.... Чувство вины мучило доктора Х. весь день. Внутренний голос уговаривал его: Един лекар до късно през нощта не може да заспи. Мъчи го съвестта и все си мисли: Разговаривают два врача: A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!” As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian." - Слыхал, Петровича уволили? - За что? - С пациентками спал. - Жаль, хороший был ветеринар. Guy s'était senti coupable toute la journée. Même en essayant d'oublier de toutes ses forces. Il n'y parvenait pas et ce sentiment l'envahissait toujours. De temps en temps, il entendait cette petite voix au fond de lui qui essayait de le rassurer :"Ne t'en fais pas Guy, tu n'es pas le premier... Ein Arzt sitzt verstört in seiner Praxis und macht sich schreckliche Vorwürfe, da er gerade mit einer Patientin Sex hatte. Von Schuldgefühlen geplagt taucht auf ein mal ein kleines Teufelchen auf... Dokter Serge heeft sex gehad met één van zijn patiënten en hij voelt zich al de hele dag schuldig. Het maakt iet uit hoeveel moeite hij doet om het te probeerden te vergeten, zijn schuldgevoelens... Zwei Ärzte unterhalten sich. Meint der eine: "Verdammt, mir geht's gar nicht gut!" "Warum das denn?" fragt der zweite. "Na ja, ich Idiot hab letzte Woche ein Verhältnis mit einer meiner... Deux médecins discutent : "-Hier, j'ai encore couché avec une patiente. - Comment peux-tu ?! - Hé Ho! Je ne suis pas le seul à coucher avec des patientes - Oui mais toi tu es vétérinaire..." Uzun ve yorucu bir ask ve sevisme seansindan sonra doktor az otesinde Uyuklayan hastasina bakarken birden cok fena halde sucluluk duygusuna Kapilmis. Panikler gibi olunca icini rahatlatmak icin...
Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."
But invariably, the other voice would bring him back to reality.
"But Dave, you're a vet."
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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sex Jokes Morbid jokes
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken.
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Redneck jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes Scottish Jokes
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said:
"What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Morbid jokes Dog jokes
Копеле, вървя си вчера и кво да видя C’est deux copains qui discutent dans un bar. Вчера спас девушку, лежащую на рельсах. A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Un homme croise un ami dans la rue : An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord.... There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, I'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay... 2 Lokführer unterhalten sich. Sagt der eine: "Du, gestern ist mir was tolles passiert. Ich fahr so durch die Nacht und auf einmal sehe ich eine nackte Frau auf den Schienen liegen ... Ich hab den... Een lelijke kerel komt een bar binnen met een enorme grijns op zijn gezicht. “Waarom ben jij zo blij?” vraagt de barman. “Nou”, antwoordt de man, “ik woon vlakbij de spoorlijn en bij thuiskomst... Un homme rentre de son footing et raconte sa journée à un ami. - Aujourdhui il m'est arrivé un truc de malade! - Que c'est il passé ? - Je courais le loin de la voie de chemin de fer et je vois une...
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, nакеd woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sеx because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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Dark Humor Jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Morbid jokes
How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like. How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. Ching chang chong ting. Víte, jak dávají Číňani svým dětem jména? Pustí plechovku po schodech!
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw a can down the stairs.
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Dark Humor Jokes Asian jokes Baby Jokes Morbid jokes
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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Dark Humor Jokes Gross Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
I didn't catch it, I was too busy маsтurватing.
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Dark Humor Jokes Masturbation jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
Adolf Hitlers Selbstmord - Защо Хитлер се е самоубил? Perquè Hitler se suicido? -¿Cual fue el mayor susto de la historia para hitler? Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got his gas bill. Pourquoi Hitler s'est suicidé ? Parce qu'il a reçu la facture de gaz Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill. Varför tog Hitler självmord? Företaget han köpte gas ifrån skickade en räkning. Varför tog Hitler sitt eget liv? Han fick sin gasräkning. Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom. Quando foi que Hitler se suicidou? Quando ele viu a conta de gás no final do mês. – Vad dog Hitler av? – För höga gasräkningar. Hvorfor begik Hitler selvmord? Han modtog sin gasregning!! Ærtemad! Hitler Hvorfor begik Hitler selvmord? – Jøderne sendte ham gasregningen - Miksi Adolf Hitler tappoi itsensä? - Kaasuyhtiö lähetti laskun. Waarom pleegde Hitler zelfmoord? Omdat hij de gasrekening zag. Comment la femme d'Hitler est-elle morte? Elle s'est trompée de douche   Comment Hitler est-il mort? En voyant la facture de gaz Jantje komt huis van school, papa vroeg aan Jantje had je het leuk vandaag Op school? Jantje antwoorden ja papa we hadden geschiedenis over de 2e Wereldoorlog Maar pap één ding snap ik nou nog... De ce a murit hitler? - S-a impuscat cand a vazut factura la gaz! În ce condiţii s-a sinucis Hitler? Cînd a primit factura de gaze! Víte proč Hitler spáchal na konci války sebevraždu? Přišel mu účet za plyn. Dlaczego Hitler popełnił samobójstwo? - Bo dostał rachunek za gaz. Hitler si è suicidato perchè gli è arrivata la bolletta del Gas! Hitler vittighed Hvorfor skød Hitler sig selv? Han var bange for at se sin gasregning ... Sapete perchè Hitler si è suicidato? Ha visto la bolletta del gas. Зошто се самоубил Хитлер ? - Оти му дошла сметка за плин! Vraag:hoe is Hitler gestorven? Antwoord:hij kreeg een hartaanval toen hij de gasrekening kreeg. The Real reason Hitler took his life, He got his gas bill. What is the highest thing hitler achieved in WW2 His gas bill Sai quando morì Hitler? quando vide la bolletta del gas
Q: Why did Нiтlеr кill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Money jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Hitler Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.
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Cannibal Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Tax jokes Morbid jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
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Baby Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
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