One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Нiтlеr, Atilla the Нun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

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Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes Hitler Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.

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A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
"Sure do," said the bartender. "Good," replied the man. "Give me a вееr, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

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One-Liner Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Lawyer Jokes Beer Jokes

Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.

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Thirty ways to shape up for summer -- number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three... What was I talking about? Im so hungry right now.

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One-Liner Jokes

My other big obituary fear is, when I die, theyll have my picture, and they always have underneath it, in quotes, He loved to laugh. Oh, he loved to laugh. Well, that doesnt tell you anything. Everybody loves to laugh -- youre laughing! Thats like saying, He hungered for food.

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One-Liner Jokes

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

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As President Roosevelt said:
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can make snow angels on a concrete slab.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two."

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Every girl either has blonde hair with black streaks or black hair with blonde streaks. Which, either way, says: I dont have a gag reflex.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!

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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes

A blonde goes to a store's deodorant display and tells the clerk, "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

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Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?

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One-Liner Jokes Life Jokes

In 1945, Adolf Нiтlеr was really kicked to death by a five year old Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes