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Physics jokes

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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.
The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my sтuрid questions, but surely you know there is never a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in talking to empty space?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."
The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? You never know... she might say yes."
The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?"
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “Can you tell me what happened before The Big Ваng?”
The professor replied, “Sorry. No Time.”
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Physics jokes
Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?
Because that's where students have the most potential.
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Physics jokes School Jokes
This is how the black hole eats space and time. Follow me for more "quantum physics for dummies" tips
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My physics teacher said i have potential
And then pushed me down the stairs
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Kobiety zaburzają nawet prawa fizyki. Im są cięższe, tym łatwiej je poderwać. Women defy the laws of physics... They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...
How do women defy the laws of physics?
The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
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Physics jokes
This picture is made by a Russian artist. This is a picture of a smiling girl which can be seen only when your eyes are half closed.
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Russian Jokes Physics jokes
Officer, I'm telling you, speed is relative
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Police Officer Jokes Physics jokes
"Tell Schrödinger I survived"
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Познайте от 3 пьти защо няма утре да сме на работа
Three guesses why we wont be coming into work tomorrow...
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1672 Sir isaac newton invents homosexuality
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Why I hate physics  The math is hard. I can't enjoy action movies anymore because the physics are wrong
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Physics jokes
Why I hate physics  The math is hard. I can't enjoy action movies anymore because the physics are wrong
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Physics jokes
If someone is hotter than you, then you are cooler than them. - Thermodynamics
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Physics jokes
My little girl told me today she doesn’t want to leave the house because she’s scared of terrorists. I told her it’s not the terrorists you should be scared of, it’s the highly destructive shockwaves produced by rapidly expanding explosive material.
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Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper?
What a shame. He had so much potential.
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Physics jokes
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
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Physics jokes
Kobiety zaburzają nawet prawa fizyki. Im są cięższe, tym łatwiej je poderwać. How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
Women defy the laws of physics...
They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...
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Physics jokes
Breaking up is like physics ...
She keeps saying that I have no energy.
I keep telling her that I have potential.
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Physics jokes
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