Political Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father.
Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "'Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Атомска бомба Chuck Norris oder die Atombombe Eigentlich wollten die Amerikaner Chuck Norris über Hiroshima abwerfen. Всъщност, американците искали да пуснат Чик Норис над Хирошима, вместо атомна бомба. Президентът Труман трябвало да реши дали да пуснат атомна бомба над Хирошима или да пратят Чък Норис. The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris. We decided to go the humane route. When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris. Why did President Truman drop the first atomic bomb? Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp.
(Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.)
Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out.
So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?"
The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!"
So the genie granted him his wish, and рооf the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!"
And рооf, he was there.
Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and рооf ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.