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Political Jokes

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Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
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Nationality Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Political Jokes
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp.
(Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.)
Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out.
So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?"
The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!"
So the genie granted him his wish, and рооf the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!"
And рооf, he was there.
Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and рооf ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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Men jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Political Jokes Genie jokes
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. "Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink." The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
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Police Officer Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Political Jokes Scottish Jokes
Кил Бил Σε μια δημοσκόπηση ρωτήθηκαν οι Αμερικανίδες αν θα έκαναν σεξ με τον Κλίντον. Querendo tirar proveito da situação, uma revista sensacionalista resolveu fazer uma pesquisa entre as cidadãs americanas, perguntando se elas gostariam de fazer sexo com o presidente Bill Clinton.... Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% of those responding said, ''Not again.'' Washingtonissa kysyttiin kahdeltatuhannelta satunnaisesti valitulta naiselta mielipidetiedustelussa: - Menisittekö sänkyyn Presidentti Clintonin kanssa? Naisista 70% vastasi: - En enää toista kertaa. Întrebare adresată unui lot de 1000 femei americane: "Aţi vrea să vă culcaţi cu Bill Clinton?" 80% dintre ele au răspuns: - Nu m-aş culca din nou cu el… A recent poll of 2000 women asked the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton? 94% responded Never again" " " In Washington DC wurde eine Umfrage zu folgendem Thema gemacht: 100 Frauen wurden gefragt, ob sie mit Bill Clinton Sex haben wollen. Zwei antworten mit "ja", zwei mit "nein" und 96 " nie wieder"... In den USA wurden alle Frauen befragt, ob sie mit Bill Clinton ins Bett gehen würden. 70% sagten: "Nicht noch einmal!"
When asked if they would have sеx with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, "Not again."
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Political Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.
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Life Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Senator.
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One-Liner Jokes Political Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
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Food Jokes Money jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor
Why did the Pakistani cross the road? Because the American government was subsidizing the construction of mango harvesting and preservation infrastructure in the region on the other side, allowing farmers with the necessary means to develop strong ties to American markets and earn significant profits.
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Political Jokes American Jokes
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the аssаulт on Russia.
Finally, they decide to ask the French:
"When is it best to invade Russia?"
The French answered:
"We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure."
Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans:
"When is it best to invade Russia?"
The Germans answer:
"We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..."
What to do?
Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea.
So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?"
The Chinese replies:
"Right now!"
Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic...
Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes Russian Jokes American Presidents Humor
I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for аssаulт. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
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Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Political Jokes
An Indian and an African walk into a bar...
Just jokin'.
It's just two liberal white women.
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Bar and Bartender Jokes Jokes about Women Ethnic and Racial Jokes Political Jokes Democrat jokes White people jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans?
A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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Democrat jokes Money jokes Political Jokes Republican jokes
Анкета Τελικά η έρευνα απέτυχε παταγωδώς. Η αιτία; Ερώτηση στον ΟΗΕ... Υπόλοιπος κόσμος ООН проведе глобална световна анкета с въпрос: A ONU resolveu fazer uma pesquisa em todo o mundo. Enviou uma carta para o representante de cada país com a pergunta: "Por favor, diga honestamente qual é a sua opinião sobre a escassez de alimentos no resto do mundo". Mas pesquisa foi um grande fracasso. Todos os países europeus não entenderam... Die UNO hat eine weltweite Umfrage durchgeführt. Die Frage lautete: "Geben sie uns bitte ihre ehrliche Meinung zur Lösung der Nahrungs-Knappheit im Rest der Welt ab." Die Umfrage stellte sich, nicht unerwartet, als Riesenflop heraus: In Afrika... Światowy Ruch Przetrwania postanowił przeprowadzić sondaż zadając ludziom następujące pytanie: - Powiedz proszę, jaka jest Twoja opinia na temat podziału żywności w innych krajach świata. Rezultaty... La ONU acaba de finalizar la encuesta mundial más grande de su historia. La pregunta única fue: - Por favor, diga honestamente que opina de la escasez de alimentos en el resto del mundo? Los... FN skickade ut en enkät om hur man skulle kunna lösa bristen på mat i världen. Frågan löd: - Ge oss din ärliga åsikt om hur en lösning på bristen på mat i övriga världen skulle kunna se ut. Den...
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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Food Jokes Nationality Jokes Insult Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Africa Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
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Drug Jokes Political Jokes
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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Political Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes
A Saudi prince recently requested that nакеd statues be covered up while visiting Rome.
Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Old People Jokes Political Jokes
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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Political Jokes Money jokes Republican jokes
Q: What is the difference between a dogs аss and liberals?
A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs аss!
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Democrat jokes Animal Jokes Political Jokes Vulgar jokes Dog jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirтy politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
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Dirty jokes Sports Jokes Men jokes Political Jokes Soccer Jokes
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
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Democrat jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Political Jokes
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