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A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island.
After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford.
They build a lean-to and find some food and water.
After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate.
The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.
"What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"
"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.
"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"
"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."
"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fuскing!"
My wife only has sеx with me for a purpose. Last night she used meto time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, andjust as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did yousee the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sеxy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." Iwent over. Nobody was home!
A hоокеr once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sеx life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No,I hate myself now."
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That'swhen you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comesoff.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sexoffenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
I was such an ugly baby,when I was born the Doctor slapped myMother.
I went to see my DR, DR.Vinnie Goomba. He asked if I had this-before? I said yes. He said well you got it again.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested formooning.
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, nакеd. I asked"Why?".He said "Because you came home early."
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sеxy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit- of-the-Loom guys giggling.
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sеx; she called me from Chicago last night.
A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband.
"Don't you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.
"Oh, I still love him," she replied, "but all he ever wants is make love, I can't take it anymore."
"Instead of divorcing him, why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested.
The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try.
As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the move on her.
"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."
"Well, then," he said. "Here's $50."
The wife began walking to the bedroom.
"Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That'll be five times in the kitchen!"