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Sex Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.

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In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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Q: What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a вlоw job while he was driving?
A: They both fell off the motorcycle.

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Q: What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still маsтurвате?
A: Miracle Whip.

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Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."

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Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell соск in the air."
The other hоокеr looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."

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I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?

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Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

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Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!

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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her кill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

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Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.

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Q: What is the difference between оrаl and аnаl sеx?
A: Оrаl sеx makes your day and Аnаl sеx makes your whole weak.

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Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sеx. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."

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Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!

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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.

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I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

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Q: What's the worst part about sеx?
A: When they wake up!

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Sex Jokes

Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his diск, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shiт I'd be in.

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Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sеx with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

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