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Вицове за секс, 18+ Sex Jokes Sexwitze Chistes de sexo Анекдоты про секс Blagues de sexe Barzellette sul Sesso Σεξουαλικά ανέκδοτα Сексуални вицеви Cinsel Şakalar Анекдоти про секс 18+ Piadas de Sexo Dowcipy o seksie 18+ Sexskämt Seks moppen Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szexi viccek Bancuri despre sex Vtipy o sexu a milování Sekso anekdotai Anekdotes par attiecībām un seksu Seksi vicevi
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Sex Jokes

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Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his diск, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shiт I'd be in.
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Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sеx with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Redneck jokes Sex Jokes Stupid Jokes
A Marine was going in for his physical.
He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend.
After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids.
He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit.
The DR came in.
After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sеx life.
Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.'
Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir."
Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?"
Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice Lady came in to help me. Would that count?"
The DR. signed the paperwork.
Walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."
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Old People Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Military Jokes
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sеx.
Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die."
She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..."
At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes
A girlfriend said to me during sеx that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Stupid Jokes Dog jokes
One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife.
"Hello," he starts, "I'm doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?"
"Yes. My husband and I use it during se-x," she answers.
The researcher is taken aback.
"Um, er, I admire you for your honesty," he continues. "Can you tell me exactly how you use it?"
"Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can't get in."
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Men vs Women Jokes Parent Jokes Sex Jokes
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sеxuаl performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried аnаl. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes German Jokes
Q: How is a casino like a woman?
A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fаrт."
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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes Fart Jokes
Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your рussy, please?"
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Dirty jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes Love Jokes
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "s*ex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar.
"Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?"
"Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildо."
"A pair of slippers and a dildо?"
"Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuск yourself.' "
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Friendship Jokes Birthday Jokes
Q: Why is a girls рussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sреrм Whale in it.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Are you a candle?
Because I want to вlоw you.
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Christmas Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fuскs a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fuскs just two guys in a year, she's a sluт.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shiттy lock.
That shut her up.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes
A furniture store keeps calling me.
But all I wanted was one night stand.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Sex Jokes Business jokes
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shiт on your diск."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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Redneck jokes Sex Jokes Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your воотy is why God invented my ваlls!
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Dirty jokes God Jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes Beauty Jokes
Two men were talking:
First :
"Can U put the word 'реnis' in a sentence?"
Second:
"Yo mama's рussy."
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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes
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