Work Jokes, Office Jokes

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard.
I'm talking day-in and day-out - just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.

19 0

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop :
"Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde :
"Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop :
"Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde :
"Oh! Sтuрid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop :
"Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."
Blonde :
"Oh... We just got off of highway 119".

19 0

Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy?
You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank.
I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

19 0

Military Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy?
My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

19 0

Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated."
What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go.
I didn't realize you were a cop."

19 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.

19 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shiт from anyone.

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A young woman all excited called up her local police department and said,
"I have a sеx maniac in my apartment!"
The officer at the other end said,
"We'll be right over lady."
The woman said,
"Can you wait till morning?"

19 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Communication Jokes

A police officer pulled a car over and arrested the driver for stealing the car.
When he questioned the driver why he stold the car, the driver explained, "It was parked outside a cemetery and I thought the owner was dead!"

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes

I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked.
I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan.
He had to take the ferryboat home every night.
One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern.
Before long he was feeling no pain.
When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock.
Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.
"How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.
"It was great," said the sailor.
"But why didn't you wait?
We were just pulling in!"

19 0

Office and Work Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

18 0

Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?

18 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Wine jokes

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

18 0

Office and Work Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty hоrny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sеx every five weeks and the woman gets sеx as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.

18 0

Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

How many programmers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.

18 0

Technology Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Police Officer Jokes Light bulb jokes Black People Jokes

Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

18 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Office and Work Jokes Political Jokes

God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’

18 0

Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes God Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes American Presidents Humor