Work Jokes, Office Jokes

One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but couldn't figure out how to cross it.
The first man prayed to God saying, Please God, give me the strength, courage and ability to cross this river.
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river. Рооf! God gave him the skill to chop down a tree and fashion it into a rowboat; he was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two,so he also prayed to God saying, Please God, give me the strength, courage and ability to cross this river. Рооf! God turned him into a woman, and he walked across the bridge.

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the сriме. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes Dog jokes

What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.

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Animal Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Easter Jokes

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"
"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."
"But, I did send them."
"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously. "Yes. That's how we won the case."
"I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Men jokes Judge and Court Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
A: He was already taking out a tooth.

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Dating Jokes Office and Work Jokes Dentist Jokes Secretary Jokes

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Dumbbell.
Dumbbell who?
Dumbbell doesn't work so I had to knock!

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Knock-knock jokes Office and Work Jokes

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You didn't really do that, did you?"
"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
"Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Military Jokes

A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun.
"Your money or your life!" says the mugger.
"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Life Jokes

A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?"
The clerk says to her, "Just a second."
The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.

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Aviation Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

There were two prostitutes , one was very beautiful and the other was ugly. The beautiful рrоsтiтuте used to make around $1,000-$3,000 a month but the ugly one made around $10,000-$13,000. Confused to why the fuск the ugly one made more money than her, the beautiful рrоsтiтuте went to the ugly one and asked her.
" Hey girl ! How are you? Looks like you're doing great ,you bought a new car and an apartment, where did you get the money ?".
On this the ugly вiтсh replied.
" Actually I play games with my customer and so I earn a lot, maybe more than you . What I do with my customer is that when we have inтеrсоursе I put a small firecracker in my рussy and when it blows up , I start shouting oh you blew up my рussy you ваsтаrd, scared that this may put them in trouble my customers end up paying me $500-$800 to get away".
Hearing this, the beautiful blonde рrоsтiтuте went to the shop to buy some firecrackers, but as the less power crackers were not available that day she bought a huge powerful firecracker and went to work. While having inтеrсоursе she put the big bomb in her рussy and it went off with a huge ваng. Then the рrоsтiтuте started shouting as planned:
" You blew up my рussy ... You blew up my рussy".
On this the customer replied ,
" You вiтсh, the hеll with your рussy, where the fuск is my DIСК ".

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Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Dirty jokes Money jokes Prostitute Jokes Office and Work Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

Are you free on Sunday?
The director asks his secretary.
Yes, sir.
Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.

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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Secretary Jokes

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear.
He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?"
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree.
The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?”
“How should I know?” the man answers, “I’m not a lawyer!”

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.

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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked,
"Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

The officer reported to the watch commander about having no luck with the witness.
"Did you browbeat him, yell at him, and ask him every question you could come up with?" asked the watch commander.
"I certainly did."
"And?"
"And he said, 'Yes dear you're right,' and dozed off!"

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Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes

I saw a тrамр who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a slimy sсuм-suскing bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish.

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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California have all the lawyers?
A: Because New Jersey got first pick.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes