Canadian jokes

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As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.
I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

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What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?
An Envelope
EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

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What are the two seasons of Canada?
Winter… and July.

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Canadian joke my dad used to tell me, wanted to see if it translates well...
Phillip: What did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?
Terrance: I don't know Phillip
Phillip: *Farts*

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What’s a Canadian’s favorite letter?
Eh (A).

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Why did the weightlifter move to Prince Edward Island?
To get the best mussels!

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How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
You say, “Please get out of the swimming pool.”

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What does Canada produce that no other country in the world produces?
Canadians.

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Why shouldn’t curlers tell jokes on the ice?
Because it might сrаск up!

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What has antlers and suскs blood?
A moose-quito.

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Why is maple syrup always so sad?
Because it’s sappy.

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How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
Step on their foot.

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Why are Canadian students so smart?
They get lots of ehs.

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Why do hockey players like baking cakes?
They’re great at icing.

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What is the type of tire that fixes itself on its own without troubling the driver?
It is a Canadian tire.

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So, the U.S. and Canada are combining their space programs to send a spacecraft to the moon.
They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.

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Did you know that Canada has a real hard water problem?
Most of the time, it’s frozen.

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What should you call Canada when it fails at something?
You call it Can’tada!

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Why was the Canadian friend late in reaching the airport?
He got delayed because he was poutine in some food.

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Why couldn’t I reach my Canadian friend during an emergency?
He was watching a game of hockey!

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