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Corporate Воотy Call... Reach Out:
I want you to reach out and loop me in.

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Office and Work Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde quit her restroom attendant job?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

After 35 years, mailman George decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds.
When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they present him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house hand him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the next house, he is met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She takes him by the hand and leads him up to the bedroom, where she blows his mind with the most passionate sеx he has ever experienced.
When done, they go downstairs, where she fixes him a giant breakfast. As she pours him a cup of coffee, he notices a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this is just too wonderful for words," he says, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she says, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that I wanted to do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Sсrеw him. Give him a dollar.' But breakfast was my idea."

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Office and Work Jokes Coffee Jokes

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked:
"Do you have any military experience?"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years."
"I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?"
The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles."
The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am."
"Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability."
The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do."

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Office and Work Jokes

What in the world is 'past due'?
Like normal due ain't enough, past due gonna make me have the money? Yo, my man, those bills can be future due - I'm broke.

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Office and Work Jokes

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes God Jokes Police Officer Jokes Lawyer Jokes Phone jokes

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: What did the blonde fill in for "Salary Expected" on a job application?
A: Yes.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildо. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, "I want that one!"
He replies, "It's not for sale."
The woman says, "Please I want that one," again he says it's not for sale.
The woman says, "I'll give you a hundred dollars for it." and the salesman says, "Well, okay.
Five minutes later, his boss walks in and asks, "How's business today?"
The salesman replied, "It's pretty slow but I just made a hundred dollars off of my thermos."

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Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?
A: Curl Up and Dye.

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Office and Work Jokes

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from law school?
A: A lobotomy.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes

What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?
A sister-in-law.

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Office and Work Jokes

Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good reason."
Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Old People Jokes College jokes

My job used to be to watch adult films and tell people what they're about.
People would come in and go, 'What's "Romancing the Воnе" about?' It's about 90 minutes too long. That's what it's about.

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Office and Work Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... Secretary:
Do you mind if my secretary watches?

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Office and Work Jokes Secretary Jokes

A young man got a new job running the register at a store. The old store owner said he would teach him how to up-sell.
"Watch how I do it," he said to the new hire.
As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing, you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut the grass."
"You know," said the man, "I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."
After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one."
A customer stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."
The man asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?"
"It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass."

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.

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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A woman was at work when a man said, "Your hair smells nice."
She went straight to her boss and said, "I've been sexually harassed.
A man said my hair smells nice."
He in return said, "What's wrong with that, it does?"
She said, "The man who said that was a мidgет."

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Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

This lady walks into her boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'd like to file a sеxuаl harassment complaint."
Her boss says, "Well what's your complaint?"
She says, "My co-worker Joe said my hair smelled nice."
The boss says, "That's really not sеxuаl harassment."
The lady counters, "But, Joe's a мidgет!"

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Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

Did you know that you can get a woman pregnant from аnаl inтеrсоursе?
That's how lawyers are made.

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

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