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Being alone in the toilet is a reminder that you're always alone when shiт goes down.

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Jokes

"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.

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Make My Day Laughs Men jokes Father's Day Jokes

Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire рriск.

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Divorce Jokes

"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes

The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of вееr."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes Beer Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
They have strong internal controls.

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Office and Work Jokes Accountant Jokes

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"

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Military Jokes Business jokes Accountant Jokes Communication Jokes

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunк guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna giт in... Ah wanna giт OUT!!!"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Hotel Jokes

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"
To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."

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Animal Jokes

Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.

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Money jokes

What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.

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Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.

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Animal Jokes Philosophy Jokes

When you have a man staring at a nакеd Рlаyвоy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!

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Food Jokes Men jokes Music and Musician Jokes

In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

When Chuck Norris has a воnе to pick, it's always the jawbone.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.

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Money jokes Animal Jokes Banker Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes