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Most Popular Jokes

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.

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Animal Jokes

Doctor: What's wrong with your bother?
Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
Patient: I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

You know who Uncle Sam is, hes that goat-faced dude who dresses like Apollo Creed. Hes always pointing at you. He wants you. Is that really the imagery we should be listening to? An uncle who looks like hes about to touch you? Uncle Sam wants you to keep a secret.

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A lot of people are pretty upset about "fат shaming" jokes these days
Maybe they need to lighten up

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Fat Jokes

What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
Hot wings.

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Food Jokes

After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids
We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas...
FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy.
Edit: For those worried about the kid, it's ok. He was an adopted gingеr, so no big deal.

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Christmas Jokes

A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.
As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning?
Is it my face?”
“No, ma’am,” explained the officer, “it’s your foot.”

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Police Officer Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes School Jokes

Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.

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Chuck Norris Jokes School Jokes

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

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IT jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes

"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."

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Car and driving jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: How do Asians get their name?
A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise.
Example: Dоng Ching Lau.

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Asian jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Baby Jokes

Yo mama so fат, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.

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Yo Momma Jokes

Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.

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Yo Momma Jokes Insult Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.

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Yo Momma Jokes