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Latest Jokes

Why dont Blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they have nothing to be thankful for after KFC is closed

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

I found a hole in my trainer that’s big enough to put my finger through.
One formal complaint from her, and I’m now banned from the gym.

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Fitness jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sеx, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sеx outback of the church.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Relationship Jokes

My dentist asked me the last time I flossed… …
…
…
I replied, “You remember.. You were there..”

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Dentist Jokes

Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush. The clerk replied, “It’s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.”

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Aviation Jokes

My neighbors listen to awesome music
Whether they like it or not.

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Music and Musician Jokes

[WARNING CONTENT NOT FUNNY] Do not click into this
A horse walked into a bar
Bartender: Hey
Horse: Yes please

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Bar and Bartender Jokes

Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day
Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”

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Science jokes

Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not ваrf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fат, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Political Jokes Fat Jokes

Some men think that using a moisturizer after you’ve had a shave is a bit gаy.
I don’t, I just think it makes my legs lovely and soft.

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Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I killed a vampire on Halloween this year... or a kid.
Either way, the wooden stake worked.

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

Why are the Irish so rich?
Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe

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Irish jokes

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every job."
"Yes," says the man.
"Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that."
"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application, "At least I'm not a quitter."

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Business jokes

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

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Animal Jokes Military Jokes

Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
California got first pick.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes Weather jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.

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Mexican jokes What do you call jokes

Donald Trump - “I’m not orange!”
“Impeach.”

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Donald Trump Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes American Presidents Humor

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus?
Because he was a Quran Teen.

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Coronavirus Jokes

People who create multiple Facebook accounts so they can like their own status are probably the same people who spice up their sеx life by маsтurватing with a different hand sometimes so they feel like it’s a strangers hand.

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Sex Jokes Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes Masturbation jokes