Newest jokes

What would you call a fish with a missing eye?
A fsh, probably.

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Have you heard about this dude who had to have his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? -- He's all right now.“

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Why are programmers no fans of the outdoors?
There are too many bugs.

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IT jokes | Good jokes

When does a car perform at its worst?
When it's not tired.

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Toilet paper plays an important role in my life.

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A man in a butcher shop:
"I would like bull testicles please."
Butcher:
"Me too."

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Notice on a shoe repair shop:
I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

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I don’t want to cut my hair! I’m really attached to it!

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Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I.

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I know that I'm fат but I’d be really rich in Britain. There they measure their wealth in pounds.

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Were French fries originally made in France?
Nope, French fries have always been made in Greece!

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I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today. He said “Dream on.” I think that was really nice of him.

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Where do cows like to go in their spare time?
In the Muuuuuuseum.

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Your shiт is my daily bread.
Michael, 36, Sewage worker

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What do you call somebody who keeps abandoning their diet plans?
A desserter.

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The guests in this hotel are always stealing soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms.
Dirty ваsтаrds!

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Good jokes | Hotel Jokes

Why do mathematicians tend to marry larger women?
Because they like curves.

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Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes | Good jokes

Robert Crinklethumbknut, international tongue-twister champion, made headlines when he got arrested. The rumor is, he’s getting a really tough sentence.

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