Newest jokes

I spent days making a wooden car with wooden wheels. It just wooden work.

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There’s a special type of people who are always in a hurry.
The Rushians.

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Imagine if you would hit the clock in the morning and the clock would hit you right back.
I think it would be truly alarming.

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I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.

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I cannot stand insect puns.
They bug the heck out of me.

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What were the words of a truck driver after he got a flat?
Darn, this is a wheely bad time.

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Why is life in North Korea so hard?
Because North Korea lost its Seoul.

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I saw an offer in a shop.
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“TV for $4.50 – the volume is stuck on maximum"
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It was an offer I simply couldn’t turn down.

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I wonder why there aren’t any more cemeteries around. People are really dying to get in there.

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They’re building a restaurant on Mars now. They say the food will be great, but they’re worried about a lack of atmosphere.

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Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged every day.

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Coffee jokes | Good jokes

Why didn’t the toilet paper go down the water slide like everybody else?
Well, he got stuck in the сrаск.

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Does your wife scream when she is coming?
No, my wife has a key to the door.

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I was kind of bored lately so I decided to take up fencing.
But the neighbors are threatening to call the police unless I put it down again.

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How to achieve a beach body?
1. Have a body
2. Arrive at the beach.

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Is it really wise to invest with somebody called a "broker"?

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Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? - Because they’re already stuffed.

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Two wi-fi antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.

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