Newest jokes - Page 368

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Math Jokes

Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house".
A: Where's the stairs.

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Blonde Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's.
What a clown!

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Management Jokes Communication Jokes Boss Jokes

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency?
He said quickly Obama.
When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

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Political Jokes US Election 2020 Jokes Life Jokes American Presidents Humor

A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem."
The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?"
The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?"
She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

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Communication Jokes

Q: What do you call a рот of angry water?
A: Boiling mad.

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Communication Jokes

A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5.
The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes.
I think I have lost a £5 note.
Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No.
I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today.
You make 72.’

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Money jokes Men jokes

A blind man walks into a bar.
The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?"
In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Four Laws of Accounting:
1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not.
4. Return on investments never will.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Accountant Jokes Banker Jokes

Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her вrеаsтs grow to enormous proportions.
Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my реnis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist:
"Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse."
The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy."
The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes

An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"

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Office and Work Jokes Old People Jokes Funeral jokes Accountant Jokes Boss Jokes

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties.
Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb.
There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb.
So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb.
Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?"
The boy looks back and says "who? me?"
The man says "yes."
The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker."
The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker."
The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating рussy and moving down the road."

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Pet Jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.

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Yo Momma Jokes Baby Jokes Birthday Jokes Ugly Jokes

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