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Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
They all board the train.
The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets, please!"
The door opens just a сrаск and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea.
So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.
When they board the train all three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.
The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!"
Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.
She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.
She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says , "Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes."
She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said "That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00."
She says, "That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register.
And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her... being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn’t you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
Customer service jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Animal Jokes
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. 
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." 
The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." 
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old соdgеr.
He agreed to abide by the local custom. 
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh соw pie. 
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fаrт. Now it's my turn." 
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
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Един господин намира папагал на улицата. Двама борци намират пингвин. Мајмун Chiste del pingüino y el policia Η ξανθιά και ο πιγκουίνος - Bonjour, avez-vous amené au zoo le pingouin que vous avez trouvé dans la rue? Две мутри намират пингвин и звънят на шефа: Kommt ein Mann mit einem gefundenen Schimpansen an der Hand in ein Polizeirevier und will ihn abgeben. Ein Mann ging über die Straße und sah einen Pinguin. Daraufhin ging er zu einem Polizisten und sagte ihm: "Ich habe 'n Pinguin auf der Straße gefunden." Der Polizist antwortete daraufhin: "Bringen Sie Ihn in den Zoo." Der Mann ging am nächsten Tag mit dem Pinguin in den Zoo. Dort traf er den... A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says: "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman.... Ήταν μια ξανθιά και στον δρόμο της είδε έναν παπαγάλο και σκεφτόταν τι να τον κάνει. Έρχεται ένας αστυνόμος και την ρωτάει: -Γιατί είστε εδώ όλη μέρα; -Βρήκα αυτόν τον παπαγάλο και δεν ξέρω τι να τον κάνω. -Να τον πάτε στο ζωολογικό κήπο. -Τέλεια ιδέα! Την επόμενη μέρα ο αστυνόμος βλέπει παλι τον... Μια ξανθιά πάει στο πάρκο και βρίσκει έναν παπαγάλο. Tι να τον κάνω η γυναίκα; (Σκέφτεται. Ίσως για πρώτη φορά στη ζωή της). Εκεί που βασάνιζε το `μυαλό` της, ένας αστυνομικός που περιπολούσε εκεί κοντά, την πλησιάζει και τη ρωτάει: - "Τι συμβαίνει εδώ;" - "Βρήκα έναν παπαγάλο και δεν ξέρω τι... Un carabiniere trova un pinguino per la strada per cui telefona in centrale per chiedere cosa farne. "Portalo allo zoo". Il giorno dopo ritelefona e chiede: "E oggi dove lo porto, al cinema?". En äldre dam hittade en pingvin. Hon visste inte vad hon skulle göra med den, så när hon träffade en polis frågade hon: - Vad ska jag göra av den här pingvinen? - Gå till djurparken med den,... 2 Agenten komen een pinguin tegen op straat. "Wat moeten we daarmee?" zeggen ze tegen elkaar... Ze beslissen uiteindelijk om hem mee te nemen. Onderweg gaan ze tanken en de pompbediende vraagt hen:... Un type se promène avec un crocodile dans Paris. Un policier l'interpelle: - Dites donc vous là, que faites-vous avec ce crocodile ? - Hé bien, je l'ai trouvé et je ne sais pas quoi en faire. -... Un carabiniere ferma un uomo che passeggia per la città con una giraffa e gli ordina di portarla immediatamente allo zoo. Il giorno dopo lo stesso carabiniere incontra di nuovo il signore con la... Um homem encontra um pinguim e não sabe o que fazer. Um amigo aconselha: — Leve o bicho ao zoológico. No dia seguinte o amigo encontra o homem ainda com o pinguim: — Ué! Você não levou o bicho para... Policjant widzi kolegę, który idzie z pingwinem. - Skąd wytrzasnąłeś tego ptaka? - A przyplątał się, i nie wiem co z nim zrobić. - Jak to co? Idź z nim do zoo. Po kilku godzinach znowu widzi kolegę... Do skrzyżowania podjeżdża kabriolet, w którym siedzi kierowca i 4 pingwiny. Podchodzi policjant i mówi: - Te pingwiny powinien pan zawieźć do zoo. Na drugi dzień sytuacja się powtarza. Policjant... A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man... Geht ein Mann mit seinem Pinguin in der Stadt spazieren. Dort kommt ihm eine Frau entgegen und sagt:„Oh mit dem Pinguin müssen sie aber mal in den Zoo!“ Der Mann antwortete:„Okay ich weiß zwar... Idzie Policjant i prowadzi pingwina za łapę. Spotyka go kolega i pyta: - Co ty robisz z tym pingwinem? - A przyplątał się i nie wiem co z nim zrobić. Kolega na to: - Zaprowadź go do ZOO. Po paru... Adamın birisi pek güzel bir penguen bulmuş. Bu pengueni çok sevmiş. Onunla birlikte yürürken bir polisle karşılaşmış. Polise sormuş: - Bu pengueni n'apayım? Polis ona: - Hayvanat bahçesine götür,... A rendőr talál egy pingvint a városban. Kérdezi a főnőkét, mit csináljon vele. - Hát vidd el az állatkertbe! Elmegy a rendőr. Délután találkozik a főnökével, de még mindig mellette a pingvin. Kérdi... En politimann møtte en svenske med en pingvin i bånd. - Ta den med til dyreparken med en gang! sa han. - Javel! svarte svensken. Neste dag møtte politimannen svensken og pingvinen igjen. - Sa jeg... En man var ute och gick sin vanliga promenad vid vattnet. Då hittade han en pingvin och eftersom han inte visste vad han skulle göra gick han med pingvinen till polisen och frågade: - Vad ska jag... Een man vindt een pinguin op de straat. Hij gaat naar de politiebureau met de pinguin. "Ik heb een pinguin gevonden:Wat moet ik ermee doen?" vraagt hij. "U moet hem meenemen naar de dierentuin"... En mand kommer kørende i sin bil med en pingvin på bagsædet. Da de når ind til byen, bliver de stoppet af en betjent som beder manden om at rulle ruden ned. "Hvad laver du med en pingvin på...
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Meкo и Тврдо Hotel Hijinx Στο ασανσέρ Στο 202!!! Un homme se cogne contre une femme dans un hall d’hôtel. Приближавайки към рецепцията на престижен хотел в Benidorm, странен шум привлича вниманието на един от клиентите. В лифт вбегает мужчина и задевает локтем грудь стоящей рядом женщины. Пълен асансьор. Млъд мъж се качил, но при влизането докоснал гърдите на жена с лакът: Ein Mann rammt aus versehen in einem Hotel einer Dame seinen Ellbogen in die Brust. Er entschuldigt sich: В асансьор на хотел без да иска мъж удря с лакът в гърдите млада дама. - Ох, извинете! Ако сърцето ви е толкова меко и топло колкото гърдите ви, ще ми простите... - Ако онази ви работа е толкова твърда, колкото и лакътя ви, то тогава сте поканен в моята стая - номер 324... - му отговаря тя. Ao entrar num elevador, o sujeito inadvertidamente esbarrou com o cotovelo nos seios avantajados de uma loira lindíssima.Aproveitou para tirar um sarrinho: — Se o seu coração for tão mole quanto os seus seios, tenho certeza de que a senhorita há de me perdoar! E ela: — Se o seu pau for tão duro... En ung sexig kille stod i hotell receptionen när hans telefon ringde. Hastigt drog han upp telefonen ur fickan och råkade då armbåga tjejen bakom honom. Då sa han med ett ursäktande leende: - Om... Paul stößt in der Hotelhalle versehentlich mit dem Ellenbogen an den Busen einer jungen Frau. Er entschuldigt sich mit den Worten: "Wenn Ihr Herz so zart ist wie Ihr Busen werden Sie mir sicherlich... En kille står i hotellobbyn och väntar på att få checka in. Då ringer hans mobil och när han plockar fram den råkar han köra armbågen i bröstet på tjejen intill. Han vänder sig om och säger: - Har... Een man komt een hotel binnen lopen en stoot daar per ongelijk met zijn elleboog op de borsten van een vrouw. “Mijn excuses, maar als uw hart net zo zacht is als uw borsten kan u mij vergeven”... Een man staat bij de receptie van het hotel. Hij wil juist de man bij de receptie een vraag stellen, als hij per ongeluk tegen een vrouw naast hem stoot, en met zijn elleboog tussen haar borsten... En el vestíbulo de un hotel, un tipo se cruza con una chica guapísima. En ese momento, oye un ruido y, al girarse, sin querer, golpea a la mujer en un pecho con el codo. A modo de disculpa le... Un uomo si scontra con una donna nella hall di un hotel e nell'urto finisce col gomito sul suo seno. Entrambi sono molto imbarazzati. L'uomo cerca di scusarsi e dice: - Signora, se il vostro... Ketten állnak egy szálloda recepciójánál, egy férfi és egy nő. Ahogy a férfi megfordul, véletlenül beleütközik a könyöke a nő mellébe. Udvariasan, kissé flörtölve megjegyzi: - Hölgyem, ha az ön... Mies törmää hotellin käytävällä vahingossa naiseen. Törmäyksessä miehen kyynärpää osuu naisen rintaan. - Jos sydämesi on yhtä pehmeä kuin rintasi, annat varmaan anteeksi, mies aloittaa. - Jos... Mann rempelt Frau an der Hotelrezeption an. Beide gucken etwas verstört. Mann: "Wenn Ihr Herz so weich ist wie Ihr Busen, werden Sie mir verzeihen." Frau: "Wenn Ihr Ding so hart ist wie Ihr...
Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Hotel Jokes
Une jeune fille se rend compte qu’elle a des poils qui poussent entre ses jambes. 12 годишната Яна започват да и растат косми между краката и притеснено пита майка си. Майка и спокойно и обяснява, че това между краката и се казва маймунка и започва да и расте коса. На следващия ден на закуска Яна интусиазирано обяснява на кака си за маймунката и за това, че и расте коса.... Ein 12-jähriges Mädchen bemerkt, dass ihr zwei Haare zwischen den Beinen wachsen. Voller Sorge rennt sie zu Ihrer Mutter und erzählt ihr von den Haaren. Mit großer Gelassenheit erklärt die Mutter ihr, dass das zwischen ihren Beinen Affe genannt wird und dieser nun mal Haare bekommt. "Sei froh... Une fille à sa mère - Maman pourquoi j'ai des poils qui poussent entre les jambes ? - C'est normal c'est ton petit singe qui grandit. La petite fille va voir sa sœur et lui dit. - Tu sais j'ai mon petit singe qui grandit. - C'est bien le mien il mange déjà des bananes. Due bambine sotto la doccia: "Ehi, guarda la mia scimmietta ha già i peli!" e l'altra: "Ah, la mia invece già mangia le banane!" Zwei Mädchen begegnen sich vor dem Schwimmunterricht im Duschraum. Sagt die eine: "Hey, dein Äffchen hat ja schon Haare!" Sagt die andere: "Ja, und Bananen frisst es auch schon!" Zwei Mädchen unter der Dusche: "Hey, dein Äffchen hat ja schon Haare!" "Na und? Es frisst ja auch schon Bananen ..." Truusje komt aanlopen en zegt tegen haar moeder “Mam, ik krijg al een beetje haar op mijn kutje” Haar moeder schrikt op en zegt: “Truusje, dan mag je niet meer zeggen met die woorden. Je moet dan... Een tiener meisje komt thuis en zegt tegen haar moeder: 'Mam,er groeit haar op mijn kut'. Now, zegt de moeder, dat zeg je niet zo! Zeg maar;dat er haar op je aapje begint te groeien. Later op... Twee meisjes zitten samen op een bed.. Zegt de ene tegen de ander: "Kijk, mijn aapje krijgt al haren." Zegt de ander: "Dat is niks, mijn aapje eet al bananen..." DAUGHTER: Mum! MUM: Whats wrong? DAUGHTER: I am worried. MUM: Why are you? DAUGHTER: Hair is growing here (between my legs). MUM: Wow! that place where hair is growing is "monkey", so be proud... Annie zegt:mamma ik krijg haar op me pruim! Mamma:nee annie je moet dat zo niet zeggen dan zeg je ik krijg haar op me aapje Annie:ik wacht op mijn groetere zus en vertel het haar Komt de grote zus... Duas goratas passeano na praia de copacabana,uma delas perguntou p/ outra; — Aninha a minha macaca tá nascendo pelo; E aninha começou a rir.. E a outra sem entender pergunto a ela; — Aninha porque... Na net dus jovens conversam: — Ai fofa, sabia que minha macaca tá criando pelo. — É, idai, a minha já ta comendo banana. A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already... A girl notices hair in between her legs, frightened, she asks her mom what it is. Her mom replies with "It's your monkey, and all monkeys grow hair." Later that day her family is having dinner and... A little girl walks up to her mom and says my monkey is growing hair Later that day the little girl tells her older sister and here's the older sisters replie my monkey is already eating bananas... Certa vez, Mariazinha, chegou a sua mãe e disse: — - Mãe, sabia que ma minha macaca já tá nascendo pelinho? Nisso, sua irmã maior vem e diz: — - Novidade, a minha já tá comendo banana! Duas meninas tomando banho, olhou para a ..... Da outra e falou: — Minha macaquinha esta nascendo pelo... E a outra falou: — E a minha, já esta comendo banana. Tinha duas meninas tomando banho juntas Uma de 13 anos e a outra de 14 Ai a de 13 fala para a de 14: — Olha, a minha macaquinha já tá criando pelinho! Ai a de 14 fala: — E a minha já tá comendo... A menina Lucia estava no banho e tinha esquecido de pegar o sabonete,ai ela Grita bem alto:_Mãee me da o sabão. E a mãe da menina Lucia chega no banheiro com o sabonete e diz:_Nossa filha você ta... Uma vez, uma mae,ao ver a sua filha sair do banho, ele vai ate o quartu da filha e ao entrar e ela ve a manina pelada e diz: — Nossa filha, que "macaca" peluda! A filha rapidamente a responde: —... UM dia a mãe chegou e viu a filha na frente do espelho pelada e a mãe disse: — Nossa como sua macaca está cabeluda a filha disse: — Ela já está até comendo banana. A loira entava no quarto da filha emquanto entava trocando de roupa. E a mãe loira disse para a filha minha filha voçe esta com a macaquinha peluda. E ai a filha responde. Mãe voçe esta por fora... Sabe o que a garotinha de 12 anos falou pra de20 e a de 20 anos falou pra de 12? 12 anos: E minha macaquinha ta criando cabelo. A de 20: E a minha já ta comendo banana A mãe chega no quarto, encontra a filha pelada e diz: — Filha, a macaquinha está peluda,hein!? A filha faz uma cara e diz : — Xii... Mãe, chego atrasada ,a macaquinha já está até comendo banana. Duas amigas de 14 anos estavão tomando banho juntas, quando uma olhou para a outra mostrando sua piriquita, e disse toda cheia de orgulho: — Olha só, a minha macaca já está peluda!!! E outra logo... Duas adolescentes conversando: — Flavinha, a minha macaquinha já está ficando toda cabeluda! — Bobinha! A minha já está comendo banana!! Uma adolescente olha para outra e diz:Amiga a minha macaquinha já esta criando cabelo. A amiga responde:Isso não é nada, a minha já esta comendo banana. En jente var bekymret for at hun hadde fått hår mellom bena. Hun spurte moren om håret hennes. Moren hennes sa rolig: "Den delen hvor håret har vokst heter Monkey, vær stolt over at apen din har... Da jenta kom i puberteten gikk hun til sin mor å sa,; mamma jeg har fått hår nedentil!! Moren svarte,; vi kaller det å få hår på apekatten, sa moren Neste dag ved middagsbordet, sa jenta stolt til...
Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes
Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did.
The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women
Dirty jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Петнадесетгодишен отива в аптека и иска презерватив. Човек влиза в аптеката и пита: Ο νεαρός πάει στο σπίτι της κοπέλας Φαρμακείο Kommt ein junger Mann zum Apotheker und sagt: 20 годишен мъж влиза в аптека и иска презервативи. Фармацефтът го пита: Un italien est invité à diner chez les parents de sa nouvelle conquête. Едно момче влиза в аптеката и казва на аптекаря: Приходит молодой человек в аптеку и говорит: Va un chaval a una farmacia: #La Boulette un jeune garçon entre dans une pharmacie et demande au pharmacien : - Pouvez-vous me donner un préservatif ? Ma copine m'a invité à dîner ce soir et je crois qu'elle attend quelque chose de moi." Le pharmacien lui donne le préservatif et quand il va sortir, le garçon se retourne et... Alfredo había sido invitado por primera vez a cenar con la familia de su novia, así que pensando en si la chica "caía" luego de cinco largos meses, pasó por una farmacia para comprar un preservativo. Le dice al farmacéutico: - Oiga, déme un preservativo que esta noche ceno con la familia de mi... Une fille demande à son petit ami de venir dîner chez ses parents le vendredi soir. Comme c'est un grand événement, elle lui annonce qu'après le repas, ils sortiront en boite et puis ensuite, elle se donnera à lui pour la première fois. Le garçon est hyper excité par cette idée (ah la... En ung kille kommer in på apoteket för att köpa en kondom. Det är första gången han köper något sådant och han känner att han vill berätta varför för apotekaren. "Jag skall hem till min flickvän på middag och träffa hennes familj för första gången ikväll och jag är nästan säker på att jag sedan... W aptece stoi nieśmiały chłopak. Gdy wszyscy klienci wyszli, aptekarz pyta: - Co, pierwsza randka? - Gorzej - odpowiada chłopak - pierwsza gościna u mojej dziewczyny. - Rozumiem - mówi aptekarz - masz tu prezerwatywę. Chłopak się rozochocił. -... Ein Sechzehnjähriger kommt in eine Apotheke und sagt schüchtern, dass er sich am Abend mit einem hübschen Mädchen träfe und nun etwas benötige. Der Apotheker nickt verständnisvoll: "Brauchst´ ein... Een meisje vraagt haar vriendje om vrijdagavond bij haar ouders te komen eten. Omdat dit een hele stap is, kondigt het meisje aan dat ze daarna met hem uit wil gaan en dan voor het eerst met hem... Een jongen gaat bij zijn vriendin op bezoek om haar ouders te ontmoeten. De vriendin heeft echter andere plannen met hem. Ze wil met hem vrijen nadat de ouders gaan vertrekken naar hun... Va un niño a la farmacia y dice: - Déjeme un condón, que hoy voy a casa de mi novia y seguro que cae, bueno déjeme otro más porque tiene una madre que está bien buena y seguro que también cae.... En ung man kommer in på ett apotek. Nervöst slänger han fram en kondom på disken. Han känner att ha vill förklara sitt köp och säger: - Jag ska äta middag med min flickvän och hennes familj idag... En ung pojke går ett apotek och apotekaren säger: - Hej, kan du ge mig en kondom. Min flickvän bjöd mig på middag ikväll och jag tror att hon förväntar sig något från mig. Farmaceuten ger honom... Um cara entra numa farmácia pra comprar camisinhas. O farmacêutico diz que tem embalagens de 3,9 e 12 e pergunta qual ele quer. Bom, eu to saindo com essa garota tem um tempão e ela e muito quente.... Poika marssi apteekkiin. Apteekkari: "Mitä saisi olla ?" Poika: "No tulinpahan vaan ostamaan noita varmuusvälineitä." Apteekkari: "Ja kuinkahan paljon ?" Poika: "No anna nyt saman tien vaikka... Un giovane ragazzo entra in una farmacia e dice al farmacista: - Buon giorno, mi dia un preservativo. La mia ragazza mi ha invitato a cena stasera e credo che si aspetta qualcosa da me. Il... Ayşe ali’yi arayıp “ali bu akşam bize gel seni çok arzuluyorum. önce annem ve babamla sofraya oturur yemek yeriz, sonra da benim odama geçip ders çalışıyormuş gibi yapıp sevişiriz.” demiş. doğru... Egyszer, amikor már egy fiú és egy lány régóta jártak, a lány egyszer csak megszólallt egy kellemes délutánt követően: - Ha holnap eljössz hozzánk vacsorára, akkor oda adom neked a szüzességem még... Gigel se pregateste cu nerabdare pentru prima lui intilnire cu Ileana: fata l-a tot batut la cap ca parintii ei nu vor fi acasa in seara respectiva. Ocazia mult asteptata fiind foarte aproape,... Um garoto de 15 anos entra na farmácia. — Quero uma camisinha. — Para que vc quer uma camisinha nessa idade? — É que vou jantar na casa da minha namorada hoje e, sabe como é, né, pode rolar alguma... Um jovem chega à Farmácia e pede ao atendente um preservativo: — Sabe o que é, hoje vou jantar na casa da minha namorada, quem sabe ela dá em cima de mim... Eu já estarei previnido... Dez minutos... Un jour, un adolescent de 16 ans rentre dans une phamarcie et demande : - Un préservatif s'il vous plait, je vais chez ma copine ce soir et je sais qu'elle attend quelque chose de moi. Le... Bula merge la farmacie: - Dati-mi si mie un prezervativ ca merg la prietena mea Si o comit in seara asta ca e buna rau... De fapt Dati-mi doua ca are o mama... yoo... Si pe aia o ard... Ba nu... Genc kiz genc asigina telefon acmis : - Jean, demis, seni cok arzuluyorum, geceleri uyku uyuyamiyorum. Ne olur bu hafta sonu bize yemege gel. Seni annem babamla Tanistirayim. Sonra benim odamda... Manden og apotekeren En ung fyr kommer ind på apoteket og går hen til disken. Apotekeren spørger: Og hvad kan jeg så hjælpe med? Fyren svarer: Jeg vil gerne bede om en pakke kondomer med riller,... C'est un mec qui rentre dans une pharmacie et demande au pharmacien. - Je voudrais des capote XXXL. - Wow sa va être torride ce soir. - Oui mais dabord je dîne avec ses parent ensuite j'vais la... Uđe mladić u apoteku i pita: - "Imate li perzervativa?" Kaže apotekar: - "Imamo, naravno." Mladić kaže: - "Dajte mi onda jedan." Ovaj mu da taj perzervativ, i taman da će mu naplatiti kaže mladić:... Un jeune homme se rend à la pharmacie pour acheter des préservatifs. Devant la grande sélection disponible, il demande l'aide du pharmacien en poste. Le pharmacien lui explique les différences, lui... Jõazinho chega todo feliz na farmácia, e o dono da farmácia estranhando toda aquela felicidade perguntou: Meu filho que felicidade e esta? Joaozinho responde: — É que hoje a familia da minha... Um jovem de 16 anos chega em uma farmácia e diz: — Eu quero uma camisinha. sabe como é né, vo janta na casa da minha namorada.. quer dizer, me vê mais uma ai moço, sabe como é.. ela tem uma irmã... Um dia pela manhã um moço que tinha sido convidado para um jantar na casa da namorada foi a uma farmácia ... Na famácia ele fala assim para o farmáceutico : Por favor me vê uma camisinha , porque... O rapaz chega em uma farmácia e pede uma caixa de camisinhas e explica ao farmacêutico: — Sabe hoje vou jantar na casa de minha nova namorada. E o senhor sabe com é né? Após meia hora o rapaz volta... Fernando arrumou finalmente uma namorada. Crente , crente que no seu primeiro dia de namoro iria transar com ela,e foi até à farmácia comprar camisinha. Chegou ao farmaceutico e falou: — Por favor... O cara vai na farmácia para comprar camisinha,quando estava saindo,volta e pede mais um pacote de camisinha,e diz para o Farmacêutico,é que vou num jantar da minha namorada,sabe como é,né? quando... Um garoto ia jantar na casa da namorada, e no caminho passou na frente da farmacia e entro: — Me vê uma camisinha! — Mas você não é muito novo? — É que eu vou jantar na minha namorada e é melhor... Lá se vai o Carlos, todo nervoso, para conhecer os pais de sua namorada, em um jantar com todos os parentes dela. Passando em frente a uma fármacia, ele decide entrar. O farmacêutico vem e o... Pakvietė mergina savo vaikiną į namus papietauti su tėvais. Ta proga pažadėjo vakare paišdykauti. Vaikis nusprendė įsigyti apsaugos. Nuėjo į vaistinę ir paprašė vaistininko prezervatyvų....
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Chiste de las fases del matrimonio Γάμος και συζητήσεις Еволюція подружнього життя. Перший рік спільного життя: він говорить — вона слухає. Другий рік: вона говорить — він слухає. Третій рік: обидва говорять — сусіди слухають. Първата година след сватбата: той говори - тя слуша. Втората година: тя говори - той слуша. Третата година: и двамата говорят - съседите слушат. La vie maritale est très frustrante. La première année de mariage, l'homme parle et la femme écoute. La deuxième année, la femme parle et c'est l'homme qui écoute. A partir de la troisième année,...
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Влиза един каубой в бар, отива до бармана: Мужик в час ночи заходит в какой-то бар и заказывает кружку пива. Бармен говорит: En man gick in på ett kafé, gick till baren och beställde en öl. - Visst, det blir en cent. - En cent? utropade mannen. Han tittade på menyn och frågade: - Hur mycket kostar en trevlig saftig stek... Certa noite, um homem entra num restaurante, vai até ao balcão e pede uma cerveja. — Com certeza, senhor! — Quanto é? — 20 centavos! — 20 centavos? — grita o homem, sem querer acreditar. — Sim, é... Przychodzi do knajpy facet i mówi do kelnera: - Setka i zakąska. Kelner przynosi, gość wypija, przekąsza i mówi do kelnera: - Chciałbym zapłacić. Kelner na to: - Nic pan nie płaci, na koszt firmy.... En engelsman kom in på en bar i Kina. Han satte sig ner och beställde en singel-malt whisky. Servitören sa på sin något knaggliga kinesiska engelska: – THATS VERY NICE SIR, NO PROBLEM SIR, ONLY 5...
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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
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