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Würmer mögen keinen Alkohol Το κήρυγμα Πείραμα χημείας приносит(у)чительница на урок две колбы.в одной вода, в другой... В час по зоология, учителят взима чаша вода и пуска вътре един червей. Le petit Sylvain vient de se faire prendre par son papa en train de boire de l'alcool en cachette. A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. Решила учителката да покаже на децата вредното влияние на алкохола. Събрала ги в класната стая и взела в една ръка купичка пълна с водка, а в другата един червей. Топнала тя червея във водката, а той се сгърчил и умрял. Um professor de química queria alertar os alunos sobre o mal que as bebidas alcoólicas fazem e fez uma experiência em sala de aula, usando um copo de água, um copo de cerveja e dois vermes. — Eu vou colocar um verme na água — disse ele, pegando um dos vermes — E vocês vão ver que nada vai... Un tipo muy borracho tenía cita con el médico, el cual le intentaba demostrar que beber mucho alcohol era malo para su salud. Así que al doctor se le ocurrió mostrarle un ejemplo con una lombriz. Primero la mete en un vaso con agua y la saca totalmente viva. Pero cuando la mete en un vaso con... Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up &... Quatro lombrigas são colocadas em quatro tubos de ensaio separados: A primeira lombriga em álcool, a segunda lombriga em fumo de cigarro, a terceira em esperma e a quarta em terra natural. No dia... Een prof chemie wil zijn studenten laten zien dat alcohol een nadelige invloed heeft op het algemeen anabolisme van de mens, en dus besluit hij, tijdens één van de practica, een speciale... Un insegnante di scienze colloca quattro vermi in quattro provette distinte: Il 1º nella birra Il 2ª nel vino Il 3ª in whisky di 12 anni Il 4 ° in acqua minerale Il giorno dopo, l'insegnante mostra... ... Sermón Dominical !! El Pastor, decide mostrar ejemplos concretos para Ilustrar su homilía dominical. Para ello, pone cuatro lombríces en... 4 frascos : - La primer lombriz en un frasco de... Pani od przyrody robi eksperyment z robakami. Wkłada 1 robaka do szklanki i nalewa alkoholu. - Robak zdechł. Wkłada 2 robaka i nasypuje tytoniu - robak zdechł... Wkłada 3 robaka do szklanki ze... Egyetemi biológia előadáson a professzor az alkohol káros hatását demonstrálja. Fog egy poharat, megtölti vízzel, míg egy másikat whiskey-vel. Aztán egy gyufásskatulyából elővesz két gilisztát, az... Un preot vrea sa arate Enoriasilor exemple ilustrate ale pacatelor, asa ca Duminica, inainte de slujba pune patru limbrici in patru Vase: primul limbric intr-un vas cu alcool, al doilea limbric... Alkohol En afholdsprædikant mente, at han havde fundet et effektivt nummer til sine opbyggelige foredrag, og det skulle nu prøves af i forsamlingshuset i Nr. Snede. Midt i sin dystre... Toca hacer experimento en la clase de ciencias naturales. Ponen cuatro lombrices en cuatro tubos de ensayo, y llenan cada uno con un líquido diferente: El primero lo llenan con cerveza. El segundo...
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За феновете на "Star Wars"- малко известен факт е, че Чък Норис участва във всички серии! Чък Норис участвал във филма "Междузвездни войни" в ролята на силата! Чък Норис е единственият, който е участвал във всички епизоди на "Междузвездни войни! " Той играе Силата. Chuck Norris spielt im Film Star Wars mit. Er ist die Macht Chuck Norris war in allen Star Wars Filmen dabei - er spielte die Macht Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies, As The Force. Did u know Chuck Norris had a role in star wars. He was the force. Chuck Norris a joué dans tous les films de la saga Star Wars... Dans le rôle de la Force. Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie, he played The Force.
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A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?”
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.”
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?”
Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.
Then, finally, she says, “You.”
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One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
докарват една мутра, която е претърпяла катастрофа в пирогов. The Hit and Run Case Некој богат човек си се возел во новото Ферари и направил сообраќајка… A successful London banker parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a bus came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's side. The banker immediately whipped out his phone and dialed 999. The police were... A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was hopping up and down with rage, complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious... Un abogado se compra un BMW nuevito y sale a mostrárselo a los otros abogados en el tribunal. Llega y estaciona sobre la derecha, abre la puerta para salir y en ese momento pasa un camión y le... En advokat körde på landsvägen med sin nya BMW och sjöng för sig själv: - Jag älskar min BMW, jag älskar min BMW... Eftersom han fokuserade mer på sin bil än på vägen så slutade bilresan med att... Um advogado estacionou seu BMW novo em folha na frente de seu escritório, pronto para mostrá-lo aos seus colegas. Logo que ele abriu a porta para sair, um caminhão passou raspando e arrancou... Ein Porschefahrer überschlägt sich mit seinem Wagen auf der Autobahn. Als die Sanitäter ihn aus dem Wagen bergen jammert dieser: "Mein Porsche, mein schönes Auto!" Sanitäter: "Der Wagen ist doch... Een advocaat opende de deur van zijn BMW toen er plotseling een auto langs kwam rijden die de deur raakte en hem er finaal afreed. Toen de politie op de plaats van het ongeval arriveerde, klaagde... Jedzie Szkot autem, zatrzymał się otwiera drzwi i bach... jakiś samochód uderza mu drzwi i je wyrywa. Przyjeżdża policja i karetka, wysiada doktor a Szkot: - O mój Boże! Mój samochód! Doktor na... Clodomiro era un abogado muy avaro, un día se compró un Rolex y un Mercedes-Benz. Al día siguiente fue a la corte a resolver un caso de un ladrón que mató a alguien. Cuando llegó, al abrir la... Een advocaat loopt naar zijn auto en doet de deur open. Er komt ineens een auto heel hard aanrijden. Hij raakt de deur van de auto van de advocaat. De deur vliegt er vanaf. De advocaat belt de... A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A... One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported... A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done... Um judeu estava viajando com sua BMW, quando de repente bateu em um poste. Ele sai desesperado do carro todo amassado dizendo: — Ai, meu Deus, meu carra! Pouco depois, os bombeiros chegam. Um deles... Een rijke patser krijgt met zijn Ferrari een geweldig auto ongeluk. Hij moet uit het wrak gezaagd worden en de zwaar gewonde man jammert terwijl de brandweer bezig is. "Oh mijn ferrari... Mijn... Ένας δικηγόρος πάει να κατεβεί από το αυτοκίνητο του, όταν ένα άλλο περνάει Και του διαλύει την πόρτα τελείως. Έρχεται η αστυνομία και ο δικηγόρος Διαμαρτύρεται εντόνως για την καταστροφή της... Atrasado para a audiência, o advogado abre rapidamente a porta do seu carro, porém, infelizmente, outro carro bate nele, levando a porta pelos ares. Desconsolado, o advogado reclama para o policial...
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Шофоьор на камион карал по магистралата Париж-Лион. Спротивен правец El conductor borracho en dirección contraria Geisterfahrer zwischen München und Salzburg Παρανοϊκός O πόντιος στο Λονδίνο - Алло, дорогая, только что по радио передали, что один псих едет по встречке. Va un gallego conduciendo por Londres y pone la radio, cuando justo emitían las noticias, y escucha: Eine Blondine fährt auf der Autobahn und hört Radio. Der Sprecher gibt eine Eilmeldung durch: An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone. Deux blondes sont en voiture. En consultant l'info trafic sur son téléphone, la copilote paniquée dit à la conductrice : As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. Tor Arne åkte på en svensk motorväg när han hörde ett meddelande på bilradion: - Det är en galning som kör åt fel håll på motorvägen. - En???? Det är ju hundratals... C'est une blonde qui se promène en auto. à la radio, on annonce un message important: "Attention ! Sur la rue Ste-Catherine, une femme circule avec son auto en sens contraire du trafic !" Et la blonde se dit: "ils sont nuls y'en a pas qu'une, ils sont... Un belge est en train de rouler sur l'autoroute tout en écoutant la radio: " ... ATTENTION, ATTENTION nous avons un communiqué spécial de la gendarmerie: on nous signale qu'un automobiliste roule à... En norsk kör på tyska autobahn med hög hastighet. Rätt som det är varnar man på bilradion för en galning, som kör på fel sida av vägen, mot trafiken. När turisten hör detta utbrister han: - En!?... Ein Autofahrer hört ausm Radio: "Ein Geisterfahrer auf der A7!" Sagt der Fahrer: "Was? Einer? Hundert!" Había un señor que iba conduciendo, prende la radio y escucha: "Hoy, un maniático se ha ido contra el tránsito y nadie ha podido atraparlo" Y luego el hombre dice: ¿Qué? ¿Uno? ¡Son miles! En mann satt bilen sin på veg til Oslo. Han skrudde på radioen, og hørte trafikkmeldingen: - Alle de som kjører opp mot Trøndelag må være forsiktige. Det er en mann som kjører i feil fil - En!... Det var en gang en svenske som var ute og kjørte bil, plutselg kom det en nyhetsending. Reporteren: – Vi melder om at en bil kjører mot kjøreretningen på E6 i nord-gående retning. Svensken: EN?!... C'est l'histoire d'une blonde qui roule sur une départemental quand elle entend un message radio important: '- Avis aux personnes roulant sur la departemental 2335 une voiture roule en sens... Un tip merge pe autostrada 57 cu masina si asculta radioul. La un moment dat, la radio, crainica anunta: - Pe autostrada 57, un nebun merge pe contrasens. Tipul foarte enervat: - Nu unul, sute, sute ! Va un gallego de visita por navidad conduciendo en coche por Inglaterra y escucha las noticias: -¡ Atención! mucho ojo en la carretera que hay un loco conduciendo en sentido contrario. Y el gallego... Un loco va conduciendo por la autopista en dirección contraria y oye por la radio: - La Guardia Civil alerta de que hay un coche que va en dirección contraria. Y el loco dice: -¿ Uno? ¡Si van todos! Temel bir gün e-5 karayoluna ters yönden girmiş. Bunu fark eden trafik polisleri yol üzerinde seyreden araçları uyarmak için telsizden "e-5 te bir araç ters yönde seyretmektedir." diye anons... Temel x otoyolunda araba sürerken bir yandan da radyo dinlemektedir... çalan şarkı bir anda kesilmiş ve bir anons gelmiş: - X otoyolunda ilerleyen sürücülerin dikkatine! bir araç ters yönde seyir... Un automobilista ubriaco sbaglia l’entrata in autostrada e si immette in senso contrario, creando lo scompiglio nel traffico. Mentre ascolta la radio sente le ultime dal radio-giornale: “…ci e’... Jede takhle řidič auta a jen tak si pustí rádio a tam slyší: Po Mostecké dálnici jede nějakej zkurvenej debil v protisměru!!! Řidič vypne rádio a stěžuje si: Kéž by jen jeden, ale tady jede v... Žmona skambina naujajm rusui į mobilųjį telefoną: - Tu dabar magistrale važiuoji? - Taip, brangute. - Greitai stabdyk ir suk į kelkraštį. Per radiją policija pranešė, kad kažkoks vienas pusprotis... Skambina naujam rusui žmona ir sako. - Tu dabar važiuoji. - Jo o kas yra. - Greit stok šalikelėj per žinias pranešė kad kažkoks idiotas važiuoja priešinga eismui kelio puse. - Gerai būtį kad tik...
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Защо не се ожените, Холмс? Прашалник At the Door Ιστορίες για παντρεμένους - Почему вы не женитесь, Холмс? Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up! Jos koira haukkuu takaovella ja vaimo kolkuttaa etuovella, niin kumman sinä päästät sisään ensin? Koiran tietenkin, sillä se ainakin lopettaa haukkumisen päästyään sisään. Uw hond staat aan de achterdeur te blaffen en uw vrouw aan de voordeur te schreeuwen omdat ze geen sleutel heeft. Wie laat je binnen? Uw hond, die zwijgt tenminste als die binnen is. Votre femme est devant la porte d'entrée en train de vous aboyer dessus. Votre chien est à la porte de derrière en train d'aboyer pour rentrer. Lequel des deux devez-vous faire rentrer? Le chien....
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A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sеx with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house
Отива един на доктор. Me боли главата нешто Harry ist krank Ali ist krank Carlos сотрудник звонит шефу: - я сегодня не выйду на работу, настроения нет, да и хандра какая-то.... A guy comes to work very sick and asks his boss for advice. The boss says: Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." C'est un ouvrier qui appelle son patron... Mattias gick runt och var små sur hela tiden på jobbet. Allt var det fel på, och han skapade en otrevlig stämning som smittade av sig till alla på företaget. Till slut orkade inte chefen längre med hans gnällande och sura uppsyn och sa till på skarpen, - Nä nu får du ge dig! Ta ledigt resten av... Johan gick och var mest småsur – fel på jobbet, fel på arbetskamraterna, fel på kaffet, fel på chefen, fel på... Till slut tröttnade chefen och sa till på skarpen: - Gör mig en tjänst! Ta ledigt... Der Erkan telefoniert mit seinem Chef! "Du Chef, ich Hand- Kopf- Fußweh haben, ich nicht arbeiten kommen können! Sagt der Chef: " Na gut aber ich geb dir einen Tipp, wenn mir mal was weh tut... Xiang Li llama una mañana al trabajo: - Yo no puede tlabajá hoy, estoy mu malito, duele la cabeza, duele el estómago, fieble? Yo no tlabajo hoy, señol. El jefe le responde: - Mira, Xiang, hoy te... Kalle va småsur, fel på jobbet, fel på arbetskamraterna, fel på kaffet, fel på chefen. Chefen sa: - Gör mig en tjänst! Ta ledigt resten av dagen, åk hem och dra över frugan. Nästa dag kom Kalle... Kontorsjefen har lagt merke til at en av de ansatte sitter og gaper, fullstendig utslitt. Han gir ham et råd: "Jeg hadde det likedan, men gikk hjem og knullet kjerringa mi knallhardt hver... Oddleif ringer sjefen for atter en gang gi beskjed om at han er blitt syk igjen og ikke kan komme på jobben. Sjefen, som åpenbart er irritert over hyppige sykemeldinger fra Oddleif, sier så at når... Un uomo va dal dottore con una lunga storia di emicrania. Il dottore scopre che il suo povero paziente ha provato praticamente ogni terapia senza nessun miglioramento. ‘Ascolta’ dice il dottore,... Kung Chang llamó a su Jefe y le dijo: - Jefe, hoy yo no tlabajal, yo estal enfelmo. Duele cabeza, duele panza, duele pielna, no voy tlabajo. El Jefe le responde: - Kung Chang, realmente hoy te... Egy embert szörnyű fejfájás gyötör, ezért elmegy az orvoshoz. - Doktor úr, mostanában hihetetlenül fáj a fejem, tudna valamit tanácsolni? - Nézze uram, ha nekem fáj a fejem, általában szeretkezek... - Allô patron. - Oui Allô? - Patron, je ne vais pas pouvoir bosser aujourd’hui ! Je me sens vraiment mal… - Écoute Pedro, je vais te donner un conseil : quand j’ai un p’tit coup de mou, je demande...
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