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Заедничко Τι το κοινό έχουν ο γυναικολόγος και το παιδί που κάνει διανομή πίτσας; Qu’est-ce qu’un livreur de Pizza et un gynécologue ont en commun ? Какво е общото между гинеколога и доставчика на пица? Deux mecs bourrés discutent dans un bar : ¿Sabes en que se parecen un ginecólogo y un repartidor de pizza? En que ambos pueden olerla, pero no se la pueden comer! Che differenza c’e’ fra un ragazzo che porta la pizza e un ginecologo? Nessuna, tutti e due la possono odorare, ma non gustare. Hva er likheten mellom et pizzabud og en gynekolog? - De kan kjenne på lukten men ikke spise...
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Една мутра пътува със своя джип. На една блондинка много и се подигравали, че е много глупава и тя решила да си боядиса косата черна. Blonde in Disguise Blonde Counting Sheep Gefärbte Blondine beim Schäfer Der Schäfer und der TT Fahrer Η ΒΑΜΕΝΗ ΞΑΝΘΙΑ блондинка решила доказать, что она не дура. для этого она... Некој овчар си пасел овци,дошол некој цајкан без униформа и му рекол: Cansada das brincadeiras sobre sua burrice, a loira resolveu pintar o cabelo de preto. Para comemorar o novo visual, foi dar uma volta de carro pelo campo e la encontrou um pastor de ovelhas. — Bom dia, senhor pastor! Que lindo rebanho o senhor tem! — Obrigado! — Se eu acertar quantas ovelhas há... There was a typical blonde. She had long, blondehair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all theblonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cutand dyed her hair brunette and went drivingdown a country road, searching for someonewho would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came... Eine Blondine, genervt von den ewigen Blondinenwitze, lässt sich die Haare rot färben und fährt aufs Land. Auf dem Weg dorthin trifft sie einen Hirten mit seiner Schafherde. Sie sagt ihm: "Wenn ich herausfinde wieviele Schafe Du hast darf ich eines mitnehmen, alles klar?" Der Hirte: "Ok"... A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.... There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the... Do bacy wypasającego owieczki przyjeżdża człowiek w średnim wieku. Po wyjściu z samochodu pyta: - Baco, co tu robicie? Wypasacie owce? - Tak, panocku. - A baco, jak wam powiem ile macie tych... Un touriste en train de faire une randonnée en montagne croise un troupeau de moutons avec son berger. Ils discutent de tout et de rien et sur la proposition du touriste en viennent à faire un... Er was er eens een herder die met zijn schapen langs de kant van de weg liep. Plots dook er een spiksplinternieuwe Cherokee Jeep op, bestuurd door een man in een Hugo Boss hemd, Nike baskets, Rolex... Een dom blondje loopt op de Veluwe en ziet daar een herder met zijn schaapjes lopen. "Oh wat leuk" zegt het domme blondje tegen de herder, "ik wil ook zo'n lief schaapje hebben!" "Nou, zegt de... En blondine blev træt af alle de blondine vittigheder der var, og farvede sit hår sort, og kørte en tur på landet. Hun kom forbi en bondegård, med en mark med får. Hun holdte ind og spurgte... Det var en gång en blondin, som ville prova om det var sant det som folk säger om blondiner. Hon färgade håret kastanjebrunt, och åkte ut på landet, och stannade vid en bondgård. - Nu skall jag... Det var en gang en blondine som var lei av alle blondine-vitsene, og farget derfor håret brunt for å se om hun bli smartere. Litt senere på dagen kjørte hun forbi en bondegård med sauer. Hun sa til... Rigtig blondine? Blondinen er træt af at blive kaldt dum så hun tager en sort paryk på og kører sig en tur i bilen. Hun kommer til et vejkryds hvor der står en hyrde med sine får. Blondinen vil... One day a blonde woman named Sally finally got tired of everyone assuming she was stupid because of her hair color. She decided to go to the hairdressers and have her hair dyed brown. Feeling quite... Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to... A blonde got tired of everyone treating her like she was dumb so she decided to dye her hair brown. She went out and about in the world to prove that she was smart. She came upon a sheep farmer and... A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she... Jede přebarvená blondýnka na kole a potká baču se stádem ovcí. V dobrém rozmaru navrhne: „Když ti povím, kolik máš přesně ovcí, dáš mi jednu?” Bača souhlasí. Exblondýnka mu to řekne, strefí se a... Sikke et får En blondine ville bevise over for sig selv og for andre, at blondiner var knap så dumme som folk troede, så hun farvde sit hår brunt og drog ud for at bevise. Da hun var kommet godt ud... Blondinen på landet Så var der blondinen der farvede sit hår og kørte en tur på landet. Efter et stykke tid blev hun stoppet af en hel masse får der blokerede vejen. Blondinen fandt frem til...
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A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.
Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table.
The man obeys.
The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about.
The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an еjасulатiоn, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.
While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room маsтurватing.
Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”?
The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
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Two physicians board a flight out of Seattle. One sits in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an attorney sits in the seat by the aisle. The lawyer kicks off his shoes, wiggle his toes, and starts to settle in, when the physician in the window seat says, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," says the attorney, "I'm by the aisle. I'll get it for you."
While he's gone, one of the physicians picks up the attorney's shoe and spits in it. When he returns with the coke, the other physician says, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the attorney obligingly fetches the drink. While he's gone, the other physician picks up the other shoe and spits in it.
The lawyer comes back and they all sit back and enjoy the flight. As the plane is landing, however, the attorney slips his feet into his shoes and realizes immediately what has happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asks the physicians. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
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O médico abre o jogo para o paciente: — Infelizmente, o senhor só tem seis meses de vida: — E agora doutor? O que eu faço? — Se eu fosse você, casava com uma mulher velha, chata, bem feia e me...
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A big city lawyer was called in on a case between a farmer and a large railroad company. The farmer noticed that his prize соw was missing from the field through which the railroad passed. He filed suit against the railroad company for the value of the соw. The case was to be tried before the Justice of the Peace in the back room of the General Store.
The attorney immediately cornered the farmer and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and the farmer finally agreed to take half of what he was claiming to settle the case. After the farmer signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't help but gloat a little over his success.
He said to the farmer,
"You know, I hate to tell you this but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your farm that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand."
The old farmer replied,
"Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself because that durned соw came home this morning!"
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Коя третокласничка има най големи гърди: блондинката, брюнетката или червенокосата? Τετάρτη δημοτικού Eine Blondine, eine Brünette und eine Rothaarige in der 5. Schulklasse. Wer trägt den größten BH? Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18. Dans la classe de cinquième, il y a une blonde et une brune. Laquelle a le plus beau corps ? La blonde, car elle est âgée de 18 ans ! 5. klasē mācās blondīne, brunete, rudmate Pēteris Alfonam prasa - kura ir no viņām ir pati skaistākā? Alfons – protams, blondīne, viņai taču ir 19 gadi!
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A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
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A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, so?" said the officer.
"Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like the Fire Chief?"
Erwin, von Beruf Polizist, kommt früher nach Hause. Un poliziotto rientra tardi a casa, si leva la divisa e, al buio, si infila nel letto. Polizist Huber kommt früh von der Nachtschicht nach Hause. Seine Frau liegt im Bett und scheint zu schlafen. Huber zieht sich im Dunkeln aus. "Schatz", sagt da seine Frau, "ich habe fürchterlichen Durst, hol mir bitte eine Cola von der Tankstelle, ja?" Huber zieht sich die Uniform wieder an und... Un policía llega tarde de la noche a su casa después de haber cumplido un extenuante turno de vigilancia por más de 18 horas. Para no despertar a su mujer, se desviste, trata de acostarse, pero la... Landbetjenten kom sent hjem, tog sin uniform af i mørke og stilhed og prøvede at snige sig i seng uden at vække konen. Men hun satte sig straks op i sengen og sagde: - Skat, jeg har en dundrende... Oficer policji wrócił do domu późno w w nocy i nie chcąc budzić żony rozebrał się po ciemku, po czym chciał wejść do łóżka, kiedy jego żona zaspanym głosem mówi: - Mike, kochanie, strasznie boli... A rendőr éjszaka korábban érkezik haza a szolgálatból. Mivel nem akarja felébreszteni a feleségét, ezért a sötétben levetkőzik, odaoson az ágyhoz. A felesége megszólal: - Jaj, drágám, úgy fáj a... Полицай се прибира късно от работа, съблича си униформата в тъмното да не събуди жена си и си ляга в леглото. Жена му с отпаднал глас го моли да отиде в аптеката да й купи аспирин за ужасното и...
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Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.”
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
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Двама юристи, влизат в едно кафене, извадили домашно приготвени сандвичи и почнали да ги ядат. Дотичала сервитьорката: Два юриста в кафе достали бутеры. Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, Zwei Anwälte kommen in ein Restaurant und bestellen je einen Drink. Als sie versorgt sind, packen sie jeder ein Sandwich aus dem Koffer und beginnen zu essen. Es dauert nicht lange, da kommt der... Dwóch prawników weszło do baru. Zamówili po drinku, po czym wyciągnęli z teczek po kanapce i zaczęli jeść. Natychmiast pojawił się przed nimi właściciel baru. - Panowie, bez przesady... Nie możecie... I middagspausen smuttede to advokater ind på bistroen over for domhuset. De satte sig til rette på terrassen og bestilte drikkevarer, hvorefter de hver især trak en sandwich frem fra deres... To advokater sitter på restaurant, og åpner koffertene sine. De tar ut hvert sitt smørbrød og begynner å spise. En kelner kommer bort, og sier: - Unnskyld meg, dere kan ikke spise deres egen mat... Kaksi asianajajaa meni päivälliselle ja tilasi kaksi olutta. Voileivät nostettiin salkuista ja eväs alkoi. Baarimikko marssi pöytään. - Ette te voi syödä omia leipiänne täällä! Asianajajat... Két ügyvéd bemegy egy étterembe, leülnek, kérnek egy pohár vizet, majd kinyitják az aktatáskájukat és elővesznek 1-1 szendvicset. A pincér felháborodva odaszól: - De uraim! Ez egy étterem! Itt nem... Tarjoilija blondeille: - Anteeksi, mutta ravintolassamme ei saa syödä omia eväitä. Blondit katsoivat toisiaan hetken ja vaihtoivat eväänsä
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