Latest Jokes

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the сhiрs and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child) HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favorite is........ HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pre tty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10
Q: What happens when you're too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?
A: They turn into blueberries. Q: What's the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken! A first grade class was asked to write a paragraph called "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving."
Little Johnny's began, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey." Q: When did the Pilgrims first say, "God bless America?"
A: The first time they heard America sneeze. Q: What do you call Thanksgiving if you're selfish?
A: Thanks-taking. My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold. Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes. Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself! Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where's popcorn? Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin. Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
A: Quack! Quack! Q: Which part of the turkey do drummers prefer?
A: The drumstick, or course! Q: What's the main ingredient in Thanksgiving bread?
A: May-flour! Q: Where's the only place that Christmas comes before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary! Q: What's a pumpkin's favorite sport?
A: Squash! Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Foul weather! Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make?
A: Wing, wing. Q: What's the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram. Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful. Q: Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light snack. Q: Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: He lost track of thyme. Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To try to hatchet. Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break. Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: A poul-tree. Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll.