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Latest Jokes

What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside?
Coconut.... What were you thinking?

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Dirty jokes

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just маsтurватing.

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Masturbation jokes

blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

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Blonde Jokes Cheating Jokes

I was going to post an original joke but fuск it, nobody else does.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un’s long range missiles.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

They all think they're in a gang -- in New Hampshire. They're hanging out at the mall as if that were their 'hood. I'm like, 'Dude, you live in New Hampshire. How tough are you? Your 'hood is a cul-de-sac between Happy Lane and Pleasant Street, pal. You and your homeboys are cruising for вiтсhеs in the backseat of mom's minivan.'

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Blue Collar Jokes

How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.

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Dark Humor Jokes

A wild-eyed man, dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat, entered the psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor, I need your help right away."
"I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on that couch, and tell me your problem."
"I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power--everything! But I'm afriad my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."
"I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?"
"For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man, "she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes

God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.

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God Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly she reminds me SUN, is hard to look at her.

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Black People Jokes

Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet.
Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you."
Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!"
Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried.
When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes

Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Political Jokes

Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.

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Money jokes

Q: If you go into the toilet American and you come out of the toilet American, what are you while you're on the toilet?
A: European.

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Nationality Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes American Jokes

In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters:
I have a good and a bad news for you.
The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots.
All the sisters start whistling happily.
But one of them asks:
What are the bad news?
Carrots came grated.

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News and Politics Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

My best friend got a truck. She didn't want to be so trendy, so she got a UPS truck. You might laugh, but she can park it anywhere.

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Friendship Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

Grandma:
"Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking."
Me:
"Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

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School Jokes