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Beauty Jokes

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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.
When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do" then leaned toward the priest and hissed:
"I thought we had a deal."
The priest put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered:
"She made me a better offer."
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Money jokes Wedding jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Men jokes Priest Jokes Relationship Jokes Beauty Jokes Priest Jokes
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
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Men jokes Beauty Jokes
The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you.
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Beauty Jokes Office and Work Jokes
You must be an angel, because your texture mapping is so divine!
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Beauty Jokes
Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan.
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Beauty Jokes
I've seen a lot of great photos of babies in my life, so if you want my like on Facebook you better bring it.
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Beauty Jokes Facebook Jokes
And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.
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Beauty Jokes
Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious
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Beauty Jokes
Roses are red, so are your lips. Sit on my face and wiggle those hips.
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Beauty Jokes
A beautiful woman delights a man's eye, an ugly - woman's eye.
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Beauty Jokes
Makeup tip: You're not in the circus.
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Beauty Jokes
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?
Beautician: Maybe.
Does he still drink a lot?
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beauty Jokes
I know milk does a body good, but dамn girl, how much have you been drinking?
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Beauty Jokes
WHY GOD? WHY ONLY ME? WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME... Didn't we had a deal that I never get old :
'(
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God Jokes Beauty Jokes
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
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Beauty Jokes
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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Beauty Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit?
A:
"Will the defendant please rise".
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Mexican jokes Prison Jokes Beauty Jokes
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
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Jokes about Women Computer Jokes Geek jokes Beauty Jokes
My eyelids are so sеxy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
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Beauty Jokes
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Beauty Jokes
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