Blonde Jokes - Page 3

Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph."Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel. "Do you see any cops following us?"
The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Dамn!" says the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turns around again. "Yup. Nope. Yup. Nope. Yup."

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A blonde's car breaks down. A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of nакеd men standing next to her car.
The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck. Three sit in the cab, and one sits in the bed of the truck.The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots. Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them. "Where have you been?" they ask.
She responds, "Well, you all forgot to open the tailgate!"

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They went back and forth until they stopped for lunch. At the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"
The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

She is so blonde that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"

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Car and driving jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes

A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks her for her license."You cops should get it together," she said. "One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter. He asked her, "What went wrong?"
The blonde said, "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fаn off."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What invention did a blonde come up with that didn't pass the patent board?
A: Ejection seats in helicopters.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why does the blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the backseat of her car?
A: In case she locks her keys inside.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: "Must be an earthquake."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Aviation Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
A: Her blinker was on.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde sees a flier on a bulletin board that reads, "Cruise - Only $5."
She goes to the address on the flier and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.The blonde wakes up tied to a log floating down river. To her right, she sees one of her blonde friends. "Do you think they're going to serve food on this trip?" she asks. Her friend replies, "They didn't last year."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Scottish Jokes Priest Jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my gеniтаls inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a вееr bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his gеniтаls, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.
The man stands up again and makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
"I'll try," says a small woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the вееr bottle."

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes Military Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey girls," says the brunette. "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after their boss. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sеx with the female boss. She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

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Office and Work Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Boss Jokes

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.
"If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"
"I'd have to say the living one."

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"
She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why was the blonde late for work?
A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?
A: She threw away all the W&W's.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes