Boob Jokes - Page 2

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father:
"Dad, how many kinds of воовs are there?"
The father, surprised, answers:
"Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her вrеаsтs are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."
"Onions?" the son asks.
"Yes. You see them and they make you cry."
This infuriates his wife and daughter. The daughter asks:
"Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?"
The mother smiles and says,
"Well, dear, a man also goes through three phases. In his 20s, his реnis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" the daughter asks.
"Yes: Dead from the root up, and the ваlls are just for decoration.”

36 0

Do not play with a woman's heart, she only has one.
Play with her воовs, she's got two of those

1 0

Men jokes Boob Jokes

More money is spent on воов jobs and viаgrа than on alzheimer's research.
By 2040 the elderly will hae perky тiтs, stiff соскs, and no fuскing idea why!

1 0

Men vs Women Jokes Viagra jokes Boob Jokes

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt?
It stands for, "Тiтs Go In Front."

16 0

Blonde Jokes Boob Jokes

A 14-year-old girl walks into a hairdresser's shop with a Тwinкiе in her hand.
She sits on the seat and the barber puts the plastic cover on her. As he is cutting her hair, she takes out her Тwinкiе and starts to eat it, not realizing that her cut hair is falling on her Тwinкiе. The hairdresser, being polite, looks down at her, smiles playfully, and says,
''Young lady, did you know that you're getting hair on your Тwinкiе?''
She smiles back, and says,
''Yes, I know...I'm growing воовs too!''

0 0

Kids Jokes Hairdresser Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Вrа?
A: When you take it off, you wonder where her воовs went.

1 0

Looking Good Jokes Boob Jokes

Why So Much Milk?
A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk. Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake. When he knocks on the door, a woman comes out wearing just a bath towel, and she confirms that she wants 45 pints. "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman."Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?""No," says the woman. "Up to my тiтs will be fine."

35 0

Looking Good Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Boob Jokes

A self-conscious wife asks her husband, "Honey, are my воовs too small?"
"No, honey, they're fine, but if you want to make them вiggеr, why don't you rub toilet paper between them?" he suggests.
For the next couple of weeks, the wife rubs toilet paper between her воовs several times a day, but sees no results.
"Honey, where did you get the idea that this toilet paper thing would work?"
"Well, you've been rubbing toilet paper on your аss all these years and that's getting вiggеr."

0 0

Looking Good Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde have square воовs?
A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boob Jokes

A woman wants a facelift and her surgeon tells her about a new procedure. "We put a dial in the back of your head and when your skin starts to sag you simply turn the кnов."
"That sounds good," she says.
Two years later, she goes back and tells the surgeon that the dial is giving her bags under her eyes.
"I'm sorry," replies the surgeon, "but those aren't bags - those are your тiтs."
"Oh," says the woman, "well that explains the goatee."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Boob Jokes

There was a woman who was interested in getting a воов job, so she went to her doctor, Dr.
Smith and questioned him about implants. He explained that, before you do anything too serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients. Every morning when you wake up rub your воовs and say ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me вiggеr воовiеs.'' She did this faithfully for weeks and noticed one day that they actually were getting вiggеr, she was very impressed.
One morning she woke up, late for work and very rushed. By the time she got on the bus she realized that she forgot to go through her routine. So standing on the bus, while rubbing her воовs she says ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me вiggеr воовiеs''. The man standing next to her says, ''You go to Dr. Smith?'' ''Yes,'' she said, ''how did you know?'' He replies ''Hickory dickory dock!''

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Boob Jokes

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little Johnny yells out, "Teacher, teacher, I have to take a рiss."
The teacher, shocked, replies "No, Johnny you may not because you did not raise your hand. And I will speak to your mother for using that word."
So Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, teacher, I have to рее!" The teacher turns and says to Little Johnny, the word is 'urinate' and you may not go to the bathroom right now. Little Johnny gets up to leave the room and says, "Teacher, teacher, urinate, but if you have вiggеr тiтs you'd be a ten."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes Boob Jokes

A women came home one day with a mirror and told her husband it was magic.
Her husband told her to prove it. She said watch, ''Mirror, mirror on the wall, make my воовs biggest of all.'' Sure enough, they grew huge. The husband was amazed and said, "Ooh, oooh, let me try! Mirror, mirror show me more, make my diск touch the floor.'' His legs fell off.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Boob Jokes

A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer's field.
The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmer's wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn't believe how beautiful she was.
"How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and work the fields?"
"I trust my wife," the farmer said. "She's never been unfaithful."
"I'll make you a little bet. If I take your wife upstairs, she'll be unfaithful. If not, you can have my plane. But, if she is, I get your fiddle."
"It's a deal." So, the pilot and the farmer's wife go upstairs. About a half hour passes, and the farmer picks up the fiddle and starts playing it.
"Be true to me, Be true to me, Be true for just one hour. Be true to me, Be true to me, And his airplane will be ours." Another fifteen minutes pass, and suddenly he sees his wife coming down the stairs. He asks her if she stayed true to him. She walked over, picked up the fiddle, started playing it.
"He kissed me on the lips, He kissed me on the тiтs, He kissed me in the middle. He kissed a spot that you forgot, and you lost your fuскing fiddle."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest тiтs in the third grade?
A: Because she's 21.

22 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Boob Jokes

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"
Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."
The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate ."
Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big воовs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

42 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Student jokes Communication Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: What has six воовs and five teeth?
A: The night shift at Waffle House.

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Boob Jokes

Yo' Mama is so old, when I slapped her on the back, her воовs fell off.

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Boob Jokes

Yo' Mama is so old, she has sour cream in her воовs.

24 1

Yo Momma Jokes Insult Jokes Old People Jokes Boob Jokes

Yo' mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her тiтs fell off!

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes Boob Jokes