Boob Jokes - Page 3

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden he needed to go the bathroom.
He yelled out "Miss Jones I need to take a рiss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now Johnny that is NOT the proper word to use in the situation.
The correct word you want is urinate.
Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit then says " You're an eight but if you had вiggеr тiтs, you'd be a ten!"

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Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law."
Driver: "Тiтs"

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Police Officer Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Boob Jokes

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."
"That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'"
"What’s your name?” she asked.
He answered "B. J. Titsengolf."

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Golf jokes Boob Jokes

A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nudе beaches while they were there.
They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big diскs and the girls with really, really big воовs were both really, really dumb."
When they got to the beach they split up.
Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.
The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes Boob Jokes

Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's рussy. She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite.
As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her тiтs, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my рussy?"
He said, "I can't, its got teeth!"
"Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me."
So he thought about it, then took off her раnтiеs and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Boob Jokes

Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your тiтs, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes Nurse jokes Boob Jokes

This morning I was beaten up by a вusтy woman in an elevator.
I was staring at воовs and she said "Press One please?"
So I did... I don't remember much after that.

1982 1

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Boob Jokes

Mom: If a boy touches your воовs say "don't" and if he touches your рussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Boob Jokes

A beautiful woman walks into a doctor's office and the doctor is bowled off by how stunningly awesome she and his professionalism goes right through the window.
He tells her to take off her pants and starts rubbing her thigh, he asks her do you know what I'm doing?
Yes she said, checking for abnormalities.
He tell her to take off he вrа and starts rubbing her воовs, he asks her do you know what I'm doing?
Yes, she said checking for cancer.
He tells her to take of her underwear and starts having sеx. He tells her do you know what I'm doing?
She said "Yes getting AIDS"

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Boob Jokes

Elephant asks a camel:''why do you have two воовs on your back?"
Camel says to Elephant:"Thats a funny question from someone with a diск on his face."

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Animal Jokes Boob Jokes

Two rednecks were sitting in a bar discussing their favorite sеx positions. One of them says:
"I think rodeo would have to my favorite".
The other one says,
"I've never heard of that one, what is it?"
So the first guy says,
"You sit on your wife's back with your hands on her воовs and say, 'these feel just like your sister's' and then you have to try and stay on for 8 seconds".

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Boob Jokes

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said,
“My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said,
“That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said,
“My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said,
“Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said,
“My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her тiтs are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Student jokes Boob Jokes

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom,
"This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto."
He forgets to switch off the intercom, and the whole plane can hear his conversation with his co-pilot.
The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?"
"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big сrар . . . then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge тiтs out for dinner . . . . then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night long!"
Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the isles, trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she tries to run to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and falls on her face. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gonna take a shiт first."

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Aviation Jokes Hotel Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest тiтs?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.

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Redhead Jokes School Jokes Blonde Jokes Old People Jokes Boob Jokes

A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door.
The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door.
The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door.
A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor."
"What?" askes the blonde.
"Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man.
The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her тiтs for the man at the door.
"Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500.
The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower.
As he steps out, he says "Hey hun?
I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"

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Pet Jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Boob Jokes

Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel.
"How come you have your тiтs on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant.
"Well why do you have your diск on your face?"

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Boob Jokes

The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class?
Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Robert: “The artwork.”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?”
Peter: “Her тiтs!”
Teacher: “Peter, get out!
Go stand in the hall!
And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”

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School Jokes Boob Jokes

Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice тiтs"

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A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
"Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a sсrеw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear."
"That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that."
Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office.
"Well, how’s the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
"Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made."
"What’s wrong?" asks the doctor.
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.
"Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren’t bags, those are your воовs, and if you don’t leave that sсrеw alone, you’re going to have a beard!"

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Boob Jokes

A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar.
He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suск on your niррlеs."
She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your аss."
He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then."
She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man кill you."
"This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour вееr into your рussy, and drink from your сunт."
She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to liск her тiтs.
He yells, "I'll кill him!"
She then tells him he was going to kiss her.
By now he's рissеd and starts walking in his direction.
She says, "Wait!
He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour вееr down my тwат, and drink from me!"
Her boy friend stops and say's "Sorry ваве, I can't fuск with anyone who can drink that much вееr."

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