Boob Jokes

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Boob Jokes
The Mother Superior assigns the three newest nuns the task of painting the foyer of the Church. “Everything you need - paint, drop cloths, paint rollers, roller trays, masking tape - is in the foyer. One last item: Mask all the woodwork and paint carefully. Do not get even a drop of paint on your habits.”
It is a Tuesday in the middle of summer and the heat is stifling. Even more so, as the central air is only turned on for Sunday services and Wednesday worship and choir rehearsal.
The three young nuns confer for a while about the heat and keeping the paint off their garments. One suggests that they sтriр off their habits, and paint in the nudе. They carefully drape their garments over one of the pews and lock the front door of the Church.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.
“The Blind Man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The three nuns look at each other and shrug, and decide that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the Church, so they unlock the door.
“Hey, Nice тiтs, ladies,” says the man, “Now where would the good Father be wantin’ me to install these blinds?”
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Жена си прави подарък за рождения ден – фейслифтинг. Лифтинг Подмладената жена и дедото The Lady and the Facelift A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. Un homme va chez le chirurgien esthétique pour paraître plus jeune. Pour tester l'efficacité de l'opération, il demande aux gens qu'il croisent l'âge qu'on lui donnerai. Il demande à la consierge de l'immeuble: - Quel âge me donneriez-vous ? - Hum, je dirais 30 ans ? - Perdu ! J'ai 40 ans ! ? Il... Det var dags för en ansiktslyftning tyckte det 47-åriga mannen och gav sig själv en födelsedagspresent. 40 000 kr fattigare men med en yngre ansikte, kom han nöjd ut. På vägen hem från doktorn... Een man van 49 vind dat hij er veel ouder uit ziet dan dat hij is. Door middel van plastisch chirurgie gaat hij er jonger uitzien. Na 3 dagen in het ziekenhuis gelegen te hebben gaat hij naar huis.... Alder En mand beslutter at få en ansigtsløftning på sin fødselsdag. Han bruger 30.000 kr. og synes rigtig godt om det færdige resultat. På vej hjem fra klinikken stopper han ved en kiosk og køber... Egy középkorú nő ráncfelvarrást szavaz meg magának a születésnapjára. Ugyan 4000 dollárt fizet a műtétért, de úgy érzi, hogy megérte, nagyon szép, fiatalos lett. Tesztelni akarja az eredményt,... Een vrouw heeft voor haar verjaardag besloten een facelift te nemen. Ze geeft 5000 euro uit en is tevreden met het resultaat. Op de weg naar huis koopt zij in een kiosk haar favoriete maandblad en... Egy nő az 50 éves születésnapján elkölt egy csomó pénzt ránctalanításra, kozmetikára, frizurára, ruhára és amikor úgy érzi, hogy a lehető legjobbat kihozta magából, nagyon fel van dobva, elindul a... Počasti žena sebe faceliftingom za rođendan i bude sasvim zadovoljna rezultatom. Na putu doma zaustavi se u butiku, pa na izlazu upita prodavača: - "Nadam se da Vas ne gnjavim, ali što mislite... Um homem de 47 anos resolveu fazer uma plastica pois se achava muito velho . Feito a plastica depois de alguns dias ele vai até o mercado e pergunta para caixa , quantos anos você acha que eu... Muito feliz por ter feito uma plástica, um homem de 49 anos sai do hospital, e começa a perguntar as pessoas quantos anos elas achavam que ele tinha. Perguntou p/ um homem na rua: — "Uns 40" foi a... A quarentona, muito vaidosa, tinha acabado de fazer uma série de plásticas para deter os inevitáveis sinais da idade: lipoaspiração, implante de silicone e mais alguns reparos na funilaria. Depois... O doamna de 44 de ani, dornica de a parea mai tanara, decide ca pentru ziua aniversarii sa-si faca un lifting al fetei. Operatia are loc si ea paraseste clinica, fericita de noua sa fata. La un... Cu ocazia implinirii a 47 De ani, familia unei doamne ii ofera o programare la Operatie estetica, pentru intinerire. In urma Operatiei, doamna chiar arata mai tanara Si de aceea era foarte... Ein Mann von 47 Jahren war sehr bemüht, jung auszusehen. An seinem Geburtstag entschied er, sich das Gesicht liften zu lassen. Er lässt die Operation machen und verlässt mit seinem neuen Gesicht...
A women who is 47 years old decides to have plastic surgery, hoping it will make her look younger.
As she leaves the hospital she quickly asks the receptionist how old she looked. The receptionist said "umm, 29"
"Wow, really?" the women replies. "I'm actually 47!"
So on the way home the women decides to stop at mcdonalds. She takes her order and asks the guy at the till how old she looked.
"34" says the man. "Wow, really?" the women replies. "I'm actually 47!"
So she leaves mcdonalds and goes to the bus stop. Waiting at the bus stop with her is a trampy looking man eating mcdonalds. After about 5 minutes of waiting for the bus the women can't resist asking the man how old he thought she looked. So she did. The man said. "I can do magic. If you let me put my face in your тiтs for 30 seconds I'll know your exact age."
The women looks around to see if anyone was around. Nobody was to be seen so she agrees with man. After the 30 seconds the man pulls away his face and says "Your 47..."
The women replies "wow, how did you know? Thats amazing." The man says "I was behind you in the que at mcdonalds..."
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Mother made a nice lunch and told little red to take this to grandmothers house through the woods. She warned little red to stay on the trail and do not take the shortcut through the forest as the big bad wolf was about, and if he catches you he'll suск your тiтs dry. Little red skipped down the trail until she was out of sight . Ignoring her mothers advise she headed through the forest on the shortcut. She came upon the swamp and met Mr. turtle. Mr. Turtle said to little red:
"Why would you be off the trail and into the woods when you know the big bad wolf is about, and if he catches you he'll suск your тiтs dry? Ignoring Mr. Turtle she headed on through the forest. Sure enough the big bad wolf leaped from behind a tree and said; " I've got you Little red, and now I'm going to suск your тiтs dry.
Little red said 'Oh no you won't big bad wolf, as she hiked up her skirt, "your going to eat me, just like the story goes.
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