Christmas Jokes

The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.

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Yo mama is so fат that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Christmas Jokes

What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!

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Christmas Jokes Stupid Jokes

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

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Jokes about Women Christmas Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes New year jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic kid who was grounded at Christmas?
Turns out he wrote his letter to Sатаn.

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Disability Jokes

Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
A: Toast their clients.

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Office and Work Jokes Christmas Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Tax jokes

Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Christmas Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating diке, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lеsвiаn. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating diке because all others are a figure of your imagination.

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Money jokes Men jokes Christmas Jokes Easter Jokes

Two little kids debated whether Santa Claus is black or white. So the little black and white boys sent their letter in the mail to The North Pole asking, "Santa, are you black or white? P.S. I, Harry, want an iPhone and Kentavious wants an X-Box One." (Kids these days) Santa soon replies with a letter saying, "It doesn't matter if I am black or white. The only thing that matters is that you don't judge by color."
"Ha, see Kentavious, Santa is white!" Harry said. "No way. He neva said dat," Ketavious defended. "But if Santa was black," Harry started, "He would have said,'It doesn't matter if I is black or white.' "

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
Answer:
"Halo there!"

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Christmas Jokes Communication Jokes

The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Christmas Jokes

I wouldn’t say Harry was mean, but last Christmas Eve he fired a pistol in the garden and told the kids Santa had committed suicide.

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing:
"All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

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Animal Jokes Christmas Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

1.Yo mama is so fат that she looked up cheat codes for Wii Fit
2. Yo mama is so fат that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
3.Yo mama is so fат that people jog around her for exercise.
4. Yo mama is so fат that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.
5.Yo mama is so fат that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
6.Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.
7.Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.
8.Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.
9.Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.
10.Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

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Christmas Jokes Halloween Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Santa saw your facebook pictures...You're getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes Facebook Jokes One-Liner Jokes

One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house.
When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him.
He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him.
When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys."
So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her вrеаsт. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys."
Then she took off everything and stood nакеd in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"

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Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes

Start preparing for Christmas early...
By falling out with friends and family today...

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Christmas Jokes

Christmas time.
Vаliuм and wine.
Children indulging in serious сriме.
With dad on the wееd and mum high on сrаск.
Christmas is magic when your family is black!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes Wine jokes

One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Christmas Jokes Men jokes