Christmas Jokes

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Niggеr walks into the doctors with a frog on his head… The doctor asks:
- “And what’s the problem here?”
To which the frog replies:
“It started a couple of weeks ago with a blackhead on my аrsе!”
I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently “young blacks” and “Romanian gypsies” were not the correct  answers.
I was on my computer earlier when the screen suddenly went black. I suppose I should elaborate. When I say “went black” I mean it stopped working. It didn’t go and stab an old lady and nick her purse.
A black man tried to steal my car as I was driving. I was going pretty fast, but the cheeky сunт managed to get in through the windscreen.
Black lives matter only when killed by a white. Those killed by other blacks don’t seem to matter as much.
*Black couple having Sеx*
Black Guy: Who’s Your Daddy!?! Who’s YOUR DADDY!?!?!
Black Girl: I don’t know.
Black Guy: Same here
I have concluded that zebras are black with white stripes.
Why?
When was the last time you saw a zebra with a job?
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the  bank. When  I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any  change?” I said “No, you’re still black”.
I always buy computers that are black. Generally, they run faster and have a вiggеr hard drive.
Christmas time. Vаliuм and wine. Children indulging in serious сriме. With dad on the wееd and mum high on сrаск. Christmas is magic when your family is black!
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Мешање Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25! Weihnachten und Silvester verwechseln Warum verwechseln Mathematiker Weihnachten und Halloween? Warum verwechseln Informatiker Halloween und Weihnachten? Oct(31) == dec(25) Pourquoi les programmeurs mélangent toujours Noël et l'Halloween ? - Parce que DEC 25 = OCT 31 (25 décimales (dec), équivalent à 31 octets (oct),), Proč si matfyzáci pletou Vánoce s Halloweenem? Protože DEC 25 je to samé, co OCT 31. - Kodėl programuotojai kartais maišo Helovyną su Kalėdomis? - Nes Oct 31 lygu Dec 25.
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Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. Three men are killed in an auto accident on Christmas Eve and ascend to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something... Three men had been at a wild office party and died in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They soon found themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. But before they could pass, Saint... Three men wait at the gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. They're told they have to present a Christmas gift to get in. The first man checks his pockets and finds pine needles from his family's tree....
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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays. If Thanksgiving is your left leg and Christmas is your right leg, can I visit between the holidays? Zwischen den Feiertagen Zwischen Weihnachten und Silvester Ham: Hej, jeg synes du har meget pæne ben, er det i orden jeg kalder dem jul og påske? Hende: Ja? Ham: Hva’ så med at invitere mig på ferie mellem højtiderne?
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